No Longer a Methodist

Yesterday, the United Methodist church voted to uphold its ban on same-sex marriage and LGBTQ+ clergy.

Because of this, my home church will likely leave the denomination.

I don’t know what entails.

The anger and disappointment are coming on slowly.

I didn’t think this would actually happen. When my pastor proposed the four different plans to be voted on at the General Conference, I thought for sure the denomination would choose the moderate One Church Plan.

Instead, they chose the Traditionalist plan.

I no longer have a place in the denomination I just joined.

While my church is wonderful and affirming and I plan to stay there, I still grieve this schism between affirming congregations and the larger Methodist body.

It sucks to feel like I found my people and have that be taken away.

I get to add this experience to the list of times I’ve felt rejected by the church.

To all the people who love to tell me, “wElL, tHe ChUrCh Is FuLl oF bRoKeN pEoPlE…”:

You have NO idea how this feels. I’ve been consistently rejected by a people that claims to love me.

I’m sick on behalf of myself and my friends.

I’m tired of hearing my experiences equated with others’, as if straight people having their feelings hurt AT ALL equals being told by the pulpit that God finds me disgusting.

I’m tired of watching the church prioritize other people’s biblical interpretations over my humanity.

To the Methodist denomination at large: you fucked up a chance to make good with the LGBTQ+ community.

To choose not to affirm LGBTQ+ church members whose gifts you’ve utilized in the past is fucked.

You rejected yet another opportunity to stand with my community.

That hurts.

I’m tired of hearing sermons on the supposedly all-loving body of Christ when shit like this keeps happening.

One of my Seattle friends is hopeful. She looks forward to a new beginning.

I’m not there yet.

I can only see what’s been lost.

My only prayer right now is, “All right, God…what are you going to do?”