Posted in Books

TERRIBLE PROSE TUESDAY: 50 Shades of Red

I was the type of teenager who read nothing but corny chick lit and snickered all the while. Feel free to call me a hypocrite.

Today’s Terrible Prose Tuesday features another letter from a YA book called “Love Undercover” by Jo Edwards. The book is about–I kid you not–a girl named Kaitlyn who falls in love with a guy in the Witness Protection Program. I’m pretty sure the climax involves her rescuing him from an assassination attempt at the school dance. It’s awesome.

So since the Witness Protection Program CLEARLY failed to protect this poor guy, they give him yet another new identity and place him with a different family. Hearbroken, Kaitlyn writes him a letter about her true feelings because she “wanted [him] to know.”

Truth be told, this letter might not actually be that terrible. Okay, it’s pretty terrible. There are some surprisingly good lines (the “karate chop you to oblivion” line comes to mind.)

HOWEVER:
Kaitlyn forgets that when you write a letter, you have the power to edit said letter. You DO NOT have to admit to blushing “50 shades of red.” You DO NOT have to say things that embarrass you. You DO NOT have to talk about things that make you uncomfortable.

…or you could do all those things and send the unedited product to the boy of your dreams, like Kaitlyn did.

I shouldn’t complain; it worked out fine for her. Rats, that’s probably a spoiler.

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Author:

In 2014, tired of my pop culture rants, my mom told me, "You should start a blog!" In 2015, needing a place to gush about the new Star Wars trilogy, I created this site. In 2016, while working an insane schedule at the local bakery, I stopped writing. That same year, I moved to Seattle. Picture every fresh-faced young woman you've ever seen stepping out of a taxi in a movie. That was me...only with a lot more anxiety and shorter hair. Living here has been a trip. I'm not always happy, but I find plenty of stuff to write about. I love to call out, complain, overreact, analyze, and reimagine. This site contains the fruit of that labor.

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