TERRIBLE PROSE TUESDAY: Honey, I’m good

No video this week, as well as no book. Time for something a bit different, namely complaining about terrible lyrics!! Hurray!

I’m disappointed in Andy Grammer. I bought his first album in 2011 and loved it, even if certain songs of his haven’t aged well.

Grammer dropped “Honey, I’m Good” in October of last year, but I’ve just now started hearing it on the radio and I hate it. The gist of this song: “Cool it, hot girl who clearly wants me! I’ve already got a girlfriend and I’m trying to stay true!”

I might be reading too much into the lyrics. I’m assuming the speaker of the song has been flirting with the aforementioned hot girl up until this point, and is only chickening out now that she seems interested in sealing the deal. It’s not cheating unless it’s sex, right?

I could be wrong. This interpretation might be solely based on what I bring to this listening experience. Still, the multiple references to this other woman’s good looks–specifically her butt–make me uncomfortable. LOOKING DOESN’T COUNT, RIGHT?

All that aside, the part of this song that really rubs me the wrong way is the tone. Here’s what the chorus sounds like:

So nah nah honey, I’m good
I could have another but I probably should not
I got somebody at home,
And if I stay I might not leave alone
No, honey, I’m good
I could have another but I probably should not
I gotta bid you adieu
To another I will stay true

To me, it sounds like he’s bragging, as in, “Hey babe, I almost had sex with another girl, but I didn’t!” It’s like he wants his girlfriend to be impressed with him for not cheating. Worse, it’s like he expects extra recognition for not doing damage to his relationship.

I’m reminded of an episode of “How I Met Your Mother,” where Robin’s younger sister defends her loser boyfriend Kyle. “He could have cheated on me but he didn’t…because he knew he’d get caught!”

How gallant of him.

Call me crazy, but I thought fidelity was supposed to be the foundation of a good relationship, not a bonus. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who exceeded expectations by staying faithful. Talk about low standards.

At least Grammer didn’t write a song that glorifies cheating, but “Honey, I’m Good” doesn’t go far enough in the other direction. I don’t need the music industry promoting mediocre relationships; people do that well enough on their own.

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