Music

Top Five Best (and Worst) Christmas Songs

Top Five Best Christmas Songs

Honorable Mention: “Hark the Herald Angels Sing (Peanuts version)”
My great uncle heard me sing this Peanuts style–head thrown back, no lyrics–and told me I sounded like a dog. Merry Christmas!

  1. “O Holy Night” by Weezer
    I like about any version of this song–though some have tried hard to ruin it–and Weezer’s is my favorite. The octave jump is what gets me (as well as the actress in Holiday High School Reunion, but no one’s keeping score.) Its descriptions of Jesus are scriptural and poignant without being schlocky. In His name, all oppression shall cease. Amen.
  2. “Nutcracker Suite” by Brian Setzer Orchestra
    I love the Nutcracker, so jazz could only make it better, right? (On second thought, forget that. And don’t ask about what happened last Christmas.) Brian Setzer sets my favorite Waltz of the Flowers to an ARMY OF TROMBONES. IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. (Unlike last Christmas. Seriously, don’t ask.)
  3. “We Need a Little Christmas” from “Muppet Family Christmas”
    I can’t listen to any other version of this song. It kicks off my favorite Christmas special and includes HONKING HORNS and too much emphasis on the words “fruit cake.” Wait…is that a trombone in the background!? IT IS!! Is Fozzie horribly mistaken about his mother’s Christmas plans? YES! There’s no better way to get me into the Christmas spirit. How little you understand bears, Kermit…
  4. “Sleigh Ride”
    I performed this song every Christmas for about six years. Like “Don’t Stop Me Now” and “Call Me Maybe,” it’s a perfectly orchestrated song that makes people smile. And–praise the Lord–it’s 260 bpm! You could learn from “Sleigh Ride,” “Last Christmas!” Notable moments: the clopping horse hooves, the whip crack, and the trumpet whinny at the end. GENIUS.
  5. “All I Want For Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey
    I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.
    Okay, I do. A lot. But this is still my favorite song.
    I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN, MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW. MAKE MY WISH COME TRUUUUUUE. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOOOOOOOOOU.

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