My friend Nikita, who is easily one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, messaged me about a middle-grade book she read a couple months ago.
She gave me permission to post her no holds barred review of Coo by Kaela Noel.
I made some minor edits for clarity; the rest is all Nikita.
Please enjoy this absolutely unhinged book review.
(Spoilers for Coo)
So this is a middle grade book.
It is for CHILDREN.
It is supposed to be pro-pigeon.
In the very first chapter, the pigeons STEAL A BABY.
They raise her on top of a roof, where they eat garbage and sometimes freeze to death.
These pigeons are HEARTLESS; whenever one of them gets sick or dies, they’re like, “Oh well, that just happens in the pigeon life.”
And then Coo (the girl) is freezing, so she has to go live with a human who THANKFULLY brings her up to speed on life not on a roof.
Coo, however, is afraid she won’t get to live with the woman at the end, so she runs back to the pigeons and is all, “Take me away! We must fly NORTH.”
The pigeons grab hold of her and FLY HER ACROSS THE CITY. (All the people below are understandably all, “What the heck?”)
Then the pigeons are all, “We’re getting tired.”
And Coo says, “Let’s land then. There are trees.”
(Spoiler: it’s a nature preserve; they didn’t even make it out of the city.)
The pigeons go, “OKAY,” and DROP HER.
Coo falls and breaks a leg or two and has to go to the hospital.
When she gets out, she goes to live with the woman and they have a party to celebrate her homecoming.
THE PIGEONS SHOW UP AND ARE ALLOWED TO JOIN THE PARTY BECAUSE THEY WERE “tRyInG tO hElP.”
And that’s the end.
I did not end up pro-pigeon, but the woman who took Coo in was incredible. She deserves all the awards because the child was a terror.
It was a bonkers but fascinating read.
Middle grade never fails to disappoint.
Nikita grew up in the forest with her parents and six siblings, though she is, in fact, not a squirrel. Despite her sheltered upbringing, she now writes crime thrillers. For the moment, Nikita resides in Egypt next door to an ostrich prison. You can read about her thru-hiking adventures at lifelivedwalking.com.