Book Recs Based on Your Favorite Cats Character

Did you all know I liked Cats?

Hahaha, well you’re WRONG.

I LOVED Cats.

Did you know your favorite Cats cat tells me a lot about the books you might like?

Just go with it.

If you like: Macavity, Mungojerrie, or Rumpleteazer

You’re into dashing crime stories and heist novels, I bet.

Try reading:

The Amateur Cracksman by E. W. Hornung: A short-story collection about A. J. Raffles the gentleman thief.

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch: For the edgier crime fan, read about the adventures of the Gentlemen Bastards as they con the elite.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller: An assassin attempts to woo the Shadow King in order to kill him and gain power. Love ensues.

The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi: Heist kids form a found family. Also there is magic, but this one has a bi boi.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo: Heist kids form a found family. Also there is magic, but this one has a PAN boi.

The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner: The ACTUAL plot of this book is that there’s a thief…and he’s magic. Pretty on brand.

 

If you like: Bombalurina or Cassandra

Ah.

You like a tough, hypercompetent lady.

Girl’s got goals and she doesn’t care about your feelings.

HAVE I GOT BOOKS FOR YOU!

Try reading:

Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney: Two girls fail to maintain boundaries with each other and with a married couple. The ending is SOMETHING.

That’s What Frenemies Are For by Sophie Littlefield: A socialite treats an acquaintance like a project. Just good, healthy friendship for the younger set.

The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smith: Two girls pretend to fall in love and actually fall in love on accident. WHOOPS.

We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding: They used to be friends. They’re not anymore. Find out why.

Hello Girls by Brittany Cavallaro: Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well.

The Valiant by Lesley Livingston: Gladiator girls. That’s all.

 

If you like: Growltiger or Old Deuteronomy

…why?

Do you only like things that people pretend to care about?

(Also, I CANNOT FIND images of Ray Winstone as Growltiger. That tells me something.)

Try reading:

The Iliad by Homer: AW YISS, A GREEK EPIC POEM IN DACTYLIC HEXAMETER. BREATHE IT IN.

The Odyssey by Homer: NOW THAT THE WAR IS OVER, YOU HAVE TO READ ABOUT ODYSSEUS’ TWENTY-YEAR JOURNEY HOME. THE TORTURE NEVER ENDS.

Beowulf: YEP. WE’RE HERE NOW. WE’VE ARRIVED.

Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust: Don’t pretend you’ve read this. NO ONE HAS.

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand: 1000 PAGES OF CAPITALISM. THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE.

Moby-Dick; or, The Whale by Herman Melville: This is on my book bucket list and I never want to cross it off.

 

If you like: Munkustrap

I don’t know how to put this.

Munkustrap’s intense eye contact…makes me uncomfortable.

So, uh…if you’re into it…

…I have a feeling you’ll like sexy romances.

Just a feeling.

Try reading:

The Mister by E. L. James: How do I put this delicately…? An employer enters into a relationship with his subordinate.

Pretty Reckless by L. J. Shen: Per this gem from the plot synopsis, “I took her first kiss. She took the only thing I ever loved.”

Open Me by Lisa Locascio: All I saw were the words “erotic literature.”

Dark Lover by J.R. Ward: I laughed a bit at “deadly turf war between vampires and their slayers” and “a secret band of brothers.” This is not my thing; it might be for someone else.

Hate to Love You: I found THREE DIFFERENT ROMANCE NOVELS under this title, so GO HAM. (The one by Elise Alden looks most promising.)

Black Moon Rising by Frankie Rose: Uh, NO, this isn’t published erotic Reylo fanfiction! How could you ASK that?

 

If you like: Victoria

I’m guessing you like triumphant tales of young ingenues.

Try reading:

Ingenue by Jillian Larkin: Fun historical fiction about flappers!

Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter: Avoid the sequel Pollyanna Grows Up. That title bodes ill.

Heidi by Johanna Spyri: Y’all, this was made into a movie starring Shirley Temple. I can’t think of a more innocent book.

Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery: Anne is a pure, imaginative soul. Go on fun, whimsical adventures with Anne.

The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux: Christine Daae is the ULTIMATE ingenue! Follow her into the dark!

Fruits Basket and Fruits Basket Another by Naoko Takeuchi: In both series, a plucky young girl navigates a complicated family.

 

If you like: Mr. Mistoffelees

DID YOU KNOW CATS LIKE MAGIC?

AND SO DO YOU!

LOOK AT THESE MAGICAL BOOKS!

KAZAAAM!

Try reading:

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern: The cover matches Mistoffelees’ jacket and that’s all I want to say on the matter.

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern: Books are magic or something.

Caraval by Stephanie Garber: NO, I’m not just choosing magic circus books! Hold your tongue!

The Magicians by Lev Grossman: OH WELL I NEVER, WAS THERE EVER AN AUTHOR SO CLEVER AS LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEV GROSSMAN?

The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin: Kids see their future and become immortal? Whatever. Something magical happens.

Stardust by Neil Gaiman: OKAY, YES, THERE IS A MAGIC CIRCUS IN THIS ONE, TOO.

 

If you like: Skimbleshanks

Skimble is a Good Times Guy…who is also weirdly controlling and REALLY loves trains.

Have some wacky books about trains, you tap-dancing tool.

Try reading:

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie: A Poirot book that takes place on a TRAIN. HE EVEN HAS A MOUSTACHE LIKE SKIMBLE’S!

The Shadow in the North by Phillip Pullman: A plucky girl detective goes on adventures! And there are…dogs! OOH, AND TRAINS (probably)!

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins: A regular woman solves a murder while on a TRAIN.

Strangers on a Train by Patricia Highsmith: This is the plot of Cats.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three by John Godey: Remember this? It was made into a very boring movie!

Mr. Norris Changes Trains by Christopher Isherwood: Scintillating content.

The Railway Children by E. Nesbitt: I HAD TO.

Thomas the Tank Engine by Rev. W. Awdry: I should stop now.

 

If you like: Gus

I get it. You could have had a career on the stage.

Relive your imaginary glory days with these books.

Try reading:

Echo After Echo by Amy Rose Capetta: It’s a theatrical romance-thriller. You’re WELCOME.

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee: Teens try to adapt Tolstoy as a web series. The director comes out as ace. There’s a friends-to-lovers romance.

Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev: The characters are LITERALLY born to perform.

Dramarama by E. Lockhart: Teens cause drama at theater camp. The protagonist somehow isn’t dramatic enough.

Theater Shoes by Noel Streatfeild: It’s theater, but with plucky young kids pulling the strings.

Tiny Pretty Things by Dhonielle Clayton and Sona Charaipotra: Ballerinas are MEAN.

Ruinsong by Julia Ember: Take Phantom of the Opera, add more concrete magic, and make it queer!

 

If you like: Jennyanydots

….why?

You must love horrifying things.

Try reading:

The Toll by Cherie Priest: A couple disappears down a dark toll road. My guess is it was a demon.

Growing Things and Other Stories by Paul Tremblay: Goodreads calls Paul Tremblay’s imagination “fantastically fertile” and I find that horrifying.

Bunny by Mona Awad: Frankly, I would rather die than join an MFA program, especially one that…summons demons? WHAT IS THIS BOOK ABOUT?

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer: Science is gross and terrifying. Nature is dangerous. None of the characters have names.

His Hideous Heart edited by Dahlia Adler: Edgar Allan Poe tales…for teens!

The Boatman’s Daughter by Andy Davidson: I have NO idea what’s happening but there’s a tree man on the cover and I hate it.

Wonderland by Zoje Stage: WHAT’S WITH THE TREE PEOPLE???

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia: Men are evil and ghosts are real.

Clown in a Cornfield by Adam Cesare: The plot synopsis yields clowns and the phrase “make [location] great again,” so I’m not loving that!

 

If you like: Bustopher Jones

I see.

So…you like books that try a tad too hard to be funny.

I’ve got you covered.

Try reading:

Kill the Farmboy by Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne: Fantasy embraces fart humor to turn the hero’s journey on its head.

Space Opera by Catherynne M. Valente: An absurdist space romp in the style of Douglas Adams with worse jokes and a confusing alien sex scene in the first 80 pages.

Demons of the Ocean by Justin Somper: It’s either vampires and pirates or vampire pirates.

My Lady’s Choosing: An Interactive Romance Novel by Kitty Curran and Larissa Zageris: An erotic adventure of your very own. Choose from three eligible bachelors, one brave lady, an old guy, a boring drip, and many more! Expect sex puns for days!

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman: A book about an angel and a demon trying to hasten the Apocalypse.

Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story by Christopher Moore: Vampirism is tough on hot people. Watch them suffer.

The Sol Majestic by Ferrett Steinmetz: A motley crew of space characters bands together to save their space restaurant in space.

The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix: Some MAN keeps trying to infiltrate a ladies’ book club. Also, he’s a vampire and a child-murderer.

 

If you like: Grizabella

Two words: Inspirational. Tearjerkers.

That’s what you get.

Try reading:

Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott, Mikki Daughtry, and Tobias Iaconis: A love story about sick kids who have to stay at least six feet apart.

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara: A Great Gay Novel about friendship and trauma.

There, There by Tommy Orange: An anthology novel following Native residents of Oakland as they prep for an annual powwow.

The Last Letter From Your Lover by Jojo Moyes: If you know anything about this author, her goal is to ruin your life. Goodreads calls this book a “spellbinding, intoxicating love story with a knockout ending.”

Wonder by R.J. Palacio: Kids are terrible. That is all.

The Astonishing Moment of After by Emily X. R. Pan: A girl believes that her mother, who died by suicide, has turned into a crane.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak: How many sad things can you think of? They’re all in this book. Also, the Holocaust.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi: A memoir about a doctor fighting stage IV lung cancer.

Dive by Stacey Donovan: The synopsis is so horrifying I don’t feel comfortable sharing it. CW for the SYNOPSIS ALONE: violence, animal harm, car crash, alcoholism, parent illness

There you have it, Cats fans.

I hope you find something fun.

(Except you, Growltiger fans.)