During quarantine, I resurrected my once-fervent passion for Lord of the Rings.
I was feeling fond and nostalgic (and was procrastinating once again), so I drafted a post.
These answers are slightly outdated now but I stand by them.
ARAGORN: A BOOK THAT ENDED UP BEING EVERYTHING YOU WANTED IT TO BE
Act Your Age, Even Brown is one of the funniest, most compelling romances I’ve ever read.
It made me laugh nonstop.
About halfway through, I had to pause before the book could hurt me.
I knew there would be an HEA; I was just NERVOUS.
CELEBORN: YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER WHO OFTEN GETS OVERLOOKED
I have been loving Cynthia Rylant’s Lighthouse Family books.
I wish Tiny got more page time.
She’s only a baby! People forget her because she’s too small!
She sits in an egg cup or the brim of a hat!
It’s the cutest!
CELEBRÍAN: A BOOK OR CHARACTER THAT YOU WISH HAD GOT A BETTER ENDING
Leah Clearwater from the Twilight saga sure got the short end of the stick.
Are you telling me you couldn’t have resolved the love triangle by putting Leah and Jacob together?? Really??
(I…just caught the Biblical reference. BIZARRE CHOICE, STEPHENIE.)
CÍRDAN: THE FIRST BOOK YOU BOUGHT/RECEIVED OR THE OLDEST BOOK YOU OWN
The first book I remember having read to me is Good Night, Moon.
Truly a classic.
That book has been going strong for…75 years!?!?
GOOD NIGHT, MUSH.
ELROND: A BOOK THAT HELPED YOU THROUGH A HARD TIME OR THAT YOU RELATED TO THE MOST
I read Check, Please! about four months into lockdown.
My mental health at that time was pretty bad.
Check, Please! was just what I needed.
JACK AND BITTY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER, I CAN’T STAND IT.
I would like my own French-Canadian hockey boyfriend, if that’s not TOO much trouble.
ELWING: YOUR LEAST FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER
(Spoilers for State of Wonder)
(Mom, don’t read this one)
Rot in hell, Dr. Annick Swenson!
You act all self-righteous about non-interference, and then you go and KIDNAP A KID???
I am also UPSET about Dr. Swenson’s…scientific choices, let’s say.
I can’t defend someone intentionally carrying a pregnancy to term as a fun experiment with no plans for the child’s wellbeing.
THEN AGAIN, WHAT DOES SHE CARE, SHE ALREADY KIDNAPPED SOMEONE ELSE’S KID.
Swenson’s fetus dies in utero and is revealed to have severe birth defects. Annika gives zero shits.
I’ve NEVER encountered someone with so little empathy.
ÉOWYN: A BOOK WITH THE MOST BADASS, OR JUST YOUR FAVORITE, FEMALE CHARACTER
I love Nimona.
I like how imperfect she is.
Everything she’s been through has (understandably) warped her worldview.
I can’t wait for the movie.
FARAMIR: A SEQUEL THAT ENDED UP BEING BETTER THAN YOU EXPECTED
I read a blog post somewhere that claimed Anansi Boys is better than American Gods.
I can’t see how this could possibly be true.
I’ll keep you all updated.
FËANOR: A BOOK WHERE THE CHARACTERS CONSISTENTLY MAKE REALLY STUPID DECISIONS
Some of Tessa’s decisions in Happily Ever Afters made the book a difficult reading experience for my friend Kait.
In Tessa’s defense, she’s just a teen.
I remember, as a teen, fucking up and feeling like I’d ruined everything.
Man, being a teen sucked!
FRODO: A BOOK THAT DIDN’T LIVE UP TO THE HYPE
Wow, geez. Harsh on Frodo.
He willingly went on a SUICIDE MISSION to save the WORLD.
One of my favorite podcast hosts hyped Rax King’s Tacky as a funny set of essays about “low” culture.
I didn’t think any of the essays were funny.
They were well-written but painful and mostly focused on trauma.
I picked this up for a good time and came away feeling empty.
GIL-GALAD: A FICTIONAL DEATH YOU WILL NEVER GET OVER
I will never forgive Rosiee Thor for Tarnished Are the Stars.
It wasn’t okay, what you did.
GIMLI: YOUR FAVORITE FICTIONAL FRIENDSHIP
Frog and Toad! Frog and Toad!
Though I would love to be in a long-term romantic relationship, I can also see myself living long-term with/close by one or two friends.
We could be ALONE TOGETHER ON AN ISLAND WITH OUR SANDWICHES.
LET’S BE ALONE TOGETHER. WE CAN STAY YOUNG FOREVER.
SCREAM IT FROM THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS, LUNGS, LUNGS.
LEGOLAS: PRETTIEST BOOK
I love my illustrated copy of The Ocean at the End of the Lane.
IT’S SO PRETTY.
It’s also the perfect size.
There’s just something about tall, well-designed books.
MAEDHROS: MOST PHYSICALLY DAMAGED BOOK
My beloved mass-market paperback copy of Princess In Love perished in the Great Pumpkin Implosion of 2016.
The book, completely sodden with pumpkin juice, fell apart. The cover went first, then the pages.
I was so bummed.
I got a replacement copy, but it’s one of the newer ones with the reissued cover.
It’s not the same.
TOM BOMBADIL: A BOOK YOU’VE FORGOTTEN
I read about 20% of Portrait of a Scotsman.
I couldn’t have told you a single thing that happened.
It wasn’t a terribly memorable historical romance.
HALDIR: A CHARACTER THAT GOT RUINED IN THEIR BOOK’S FILM ADAPTATION
I LOVE the 2007 film adaptation of The Golden Compass.
I KNOW it’s bad, but I am FOND.
I do think most of the characters were shafted.
Pantalaimon only gets a handful of lines (despite being a main character).
Ian McKellen makes a great Iorek Byrnison, but he also replaced Nonso Anozie, who had already recorded lines for the film.
Anozie deserved better.
I forgot how mad I was about State of Wonder. You WILL be hearing about it in my Least Favorite Books of 2022 post.
I am going to do more posts, write about video games, and probably talk more about Stranger Things.
My mental health is on the rise. Tolkien be praised.