Posted in Books, Movies

Star Wars Book Tag: ROUND ONE

I’m in a Star Wars mood.

Also, I recently woke from a dream where my girlfriend and I watched Rise of Skywalker in a giant stadium theater.

Miracles happen.

Maddie did this Star Wars tag on Well-Read Twenty Something.

It’s mine now!

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Episode I: The Phantom Menace

A book or series you pretend not to like but secretly do

YEAH, YOU’RE RIGHT, ONCE AND FUTURE IS DUMB.

Once and Future

THE WORST REP, AM I RIGHT?

(Just kidding, I love it all. Never change, Ari.)

 

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

An emotionally powerful YA novel

There’s a lot happening in Donut Days.

Donut Days.jpg

A patriarchal layperson at the protagonist’s home church claims God wants them to fire their female pastor.

Cue the disgusted groan.

It gets worse.

The protagonist’s “progressive” pastor parents, who preach gender equality and the possibility of Adam as intersex, insist that their daughter attend Christian college.

In fact, they will ONLY pay for Christian college. The daughter will have to pay for any secular college she chooses.

SPOILER: The book ends with the protagonist holding an envelope from her secular dream school.

She knows, if she’s been accepted, how uncertain her financial future looks.

All this over CHRISTIAN COLLEGE???

Christian colleges aren’t pure, moral places!

The gulf between “Christian” colleges (supposedly religious havens) and “secular” colleges (allegedly dens of iniquity) is NOT that vast.

You trust Jerry Falwell, Jr. to preserve your daughter’s morals????

Moral Purity.jpg
^^ Moral authority ^^

Uuughghghgh…I’m FRUSTRATED by this parenting decision.

 

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

A trilogy with a tragic ending

The ending to the Dairy Queen trilogy isn’t SUPPOSED to be tragic…but it is to me.

Front and Center.jpg

Regarding D.J.’s two older brothers, Bill supports D.J. throughout the series while Win turns into a belligerent jerk after sustaining a career-ending football energy.

As an adult, I feel a little more for Win. He got hurt and had to relearn basic functions in physical therapy – no WONDER he’s angry.

He spends most of the series, though, PARTICULARLY the last book, being cruel to DJ.

I don’t really think “tough love” exists, and I CERTAINLY don’t stand for assholery in the guise of tough love.

So here’s my problem: Win gets injured and everything becomes all about him.

He’s rude to everyone. It’s great.

The rest of DJ’s family and friends support her sports career, even though they don’t understand it.

Win is cruel, demeaning her athletic efforts, and…that’s about it.

DJ ends the final book…BY THANKING WIN.

LEGITIMATELY, THE LAST SENTENCE OF THE BOOK IS A THANK-YOU TO WIN.

ACCORDING TO DJ, he taught her the most important lessons.

WHY IS THIS SUDDENLY ABOUT HIM?

WE COULDN’T END ON A MOMENT OF TRIUMPH FOR D.J.??

WE HAD TO MAKE THIS ABOUT HER BROTHER WHO HAS DONE NOT A SINGLE POSITIVE THING THIS ENTIRE TRILOGY?

UUUGHGHGHGH.

 

Episode IV: A New Hope

Your favorite classic

4-year-old Lauren made her parents read Fox in Socks out loud many, many times.

Fox in Socks.jpg

There’s something about blue goo that I just loved as a kid.

Blue Goo.jpg

I think there’s a buffet, too.

Fox in Socks, I love you.

 

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

An action-packed adventure

The very little bit of The Disasters I have read has been a NONSTOP SPACE ADVENTURE!

DIsasters

With HOTWIRING!

And HOT PURSUIT!

And…to be honest, it’s a little boring.

I feel about The Disasters the way you all feel about Once and Future, i.e., I find the worldbuilding thin and annoying.

And the characters become friends too quickly.

At least the OAF characters had history.

 

Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi

A trilogy with a wonderfully satisfying ending

The Matched trilogy ended the way I’d hoped The Hunger Games trilogy would end.

Reached

The Hunger Games is more realistic.

Matched is more hopeful.

I finished both trilogies in the same year and I much preferred Ally Condie’s ending.

Give me that little bit of hope.

 

Episode VII: The Force Awakens

A new book that feels like an old friend

I’ve run out of words to describe the depth of feeling I have for Blood Water Paint.

Blood Water Paint

It should only take you a couple hours to blast through.

READ IT.

 

Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

A sequel you can’t wait to read

Is the second volume of Heavy Vinyl ever coming out?

heavy vinyl 1

I feel like I’ve been waiting for ages.

I need more queer Riot Grrl fight club.

 

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Your favorite spin-off

I haven’t read this book yet…

…but…

…CALL DOWN THE HAWK, STARRING RONAN LYNCH, COMES OUT THIS NOVEMBER!

Call Down the Hawk

NEVER FORGET!

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Tomorrow, my mom and I head to Ashland to witness some non-Star Wars theater.

Will I be geeking out about Star Wars during my vacation?

Ha-HA! I never STOPPED!

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Author:

She/her. 4w3. Lover of vegan cream cheese and performative angst. Seattle-based writer currently dabbling in socialism and progressive Christianity. I love to call out, complain, overreact, analyze, and reimagine. This site contains the fruit of that labor.

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