Posted in Books, Entertainment, Movies

TOP TEN TUESDAY: Who Would Win in a Fight (Halloween edition)

This week’s Top Ten Tuesday is a Halloween freebie.

So…

…I decided to make my favorite spOoOoOoOoky fictional characters fight in a tournament.

(SPOILERS for The Lunar Chronicles, The Girl With All the Gifts, The Witch (2015), and The Scorpio Races.)

img_1107-1

Contestants

Witch
Mila (Undead Girl Gang)

Undead Girl Gang.jpg

Tough. Punk. Magically-inclined.

 

Vampire
Carmilla (Carmilla)

Carmilla

Seductive. Powerful. Dangerous.

 

Werewolf
Ze’ev “Wolf” Kesley (The Lunar Chronicles)

Scarlet

Tall. Dark. Susceptible to mind control.

 

Ghost
Helen (My Plain Jane)

My Plain Jane

Snarky. Superstitious. Dead.

 

Zombie
Melanie (The Girl With All the Gifts)

Girl With All the GIfts

Quick. Resourceful. Devoted.

 

Deity
Death (The Sandman)

Sandman.jpg

Ancient. Sunny. Goth.

 

Demon
Brimstone (Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy)

Daughter of Smoke and Bone

Gruff. Secretive. Eloquent under pressure.

 

Angel
Fang (Maximum Ride)

Maximum Ride

Angsty. Aloof. Inconsistent.

 

Shapeshifter
Black Phillip (The Witch)

The Witch.jpg

Bovidae. Gossipy. Satanic.

 

Kelpie
Skata (The Scorpio Races)

V5

Eye-catching. Murderous. Determined.

 

Last character standing wins the crown.

img_1107-1

ROUND ONE: Black Phillip vs. Carmilla

Ooh. This is a tough match.

I’m going to give it to Black Phillip for killing an entire family and BEING SATAN.

I hope he doesn’t win the whole thing.

That would be a bummer.

WINNER: Black Phillip

ROUND TWO: Melanie vs. Helen

This is difficult because HELEN IS A GHOST.

ONE CANNOT HARM A GHOST.

Then again, Melanie figured out a way to infect the entire world with zombie spores.

She could make quick work of a ghost.

WINNER: Melanie

ROUND THREE: Black Phillip vs. Brimstone

I CAN’T JUST KEEP GIVING ROUNDS TO SATAN.

That being said…Black Phillip dispatched a bunch of humans while in goat form.

What’s one chimera to an all-powerful goat?

WILL NO ONE STOP THIS DARK GOAT FROM SUCCEEDING?

WINNER: Black Phillip

ROUND FOUR: Fang vs. Ze’ev “Wolf” Kesley

Are you KIDDING?

Wolf is a supersoldier.

Fang is an angsty teenager with wings.

No contest.

WINNER: Ze’ev “Wolf” Kesley

ROUND FIVE: Mila vs. Melanie

Oh.

I believe in Mila…

…but Melanie is just so fast! And her teeth are so sharp!

Sorry, Mila.

WINNER: Melanie

ROUND SIX: Skata vs. Death

WHY DID I CHOOSE THESE CHARACTERS?

Skata might be a murder horse, but DEATH IS THE GRIM REAPER.

SHE’S ALSO A PERKY GOTH, SO YOU KNOW SHE’S NOT AFRAID OF HORSES.

WINNER: Death

 

ROUND SEVEN: Black Phillip vs. Ze’ev “Wolf” Kesley

…..

I don’t think Wolf can defeat Satan.

It’s…just not possible.

WINNER: Black Phillip

ROUND EIGHT: Melanie vs. Death

Come ON.

Goddess of Death versus a zombie?

I’ll pick the woman who has CONTROL OVER LIFE ITSELF.

WINNER: Death

 

ROUND NINE: Black Phillip vs. Death

Huh.

Hm.

Well.

Power of hell…or the power of…death, I guess?

Should this end in a stalemate?

CAN it end in a stalemate?

Again, WHAT WAS I DOING picking SATAN as one of my characters!?

I say…this round…goes to…..

DEATH.

Per Wikipedia, Death possesses super strength.

Black Phillip can GORE people and get them to sell their souls, but he relies on witches to get the job done.

Without witches, he’s nothing.

SEE YA.

THE LADIES WIN THIS ROUND.

WINNER: Death

img_1107-1

I think we all grew from that experience.

Happy Top Ten Tuesday! And happy (almost) Halloween!

Author:

She/her. 4w3. Lover of vegan cream cheese and performative angst. Seattle-based writer currently dabbling in socialism and progressive Christianity. I love to call out, complain, overreact, analyze, and reimagine. This site contains the fruit of that labor.

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