THINGS THAT BRING ME JOY: Disney Emoji Blitz

I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME.

For many of us, Bad Time is kind of the default.

For me, on top of the already tense atmosphere, everything that could possibly have gone wrong today did and I am unhappy about it.

I left work early and stomped around my neighborhood for an hour.

Now I’m eating pizza and writing about Disney Emoji Blitz.

I don’t like to shill for Disney, because of their shoddy queer representation (still mad at you, Star Wars) and such.

However, I can’t help gushing about their phone game Disney Emoji Blitz (henceforth abbreviated as DEB.)

The ads used to make me snicker.

“WHO WOULD WANT TO PLAY SOME SILLY PHONE GAME WHERE THE PRIZE IS DISNEY EMOJIS?” I asked.

In the face of a global pandemic, APPARENTLY I WOULD.

I cannot stop playing this game.

DEB is a match-three game where the player completes missions, collects coins, and “buys” emojis.

I had no love for Ariel from The Little Mermaid before this game.

Now that I have her emoji, she’s my favorite character.

Same goes for Marie from The Aristocats: I care about that movie not at all, yet am determined to add the Marie emoji to my collection.

Disney also added Star Wars emojis to DEB after acquiring the franchise.

You know what popular show is a part of the Star Wars universe?

THE MANDALORIAN.

I HAVEN’T GOTTEN A BABY YODA YET, BUT I WILL.

My current favorites include Kylo Ren, Hades, Ian from Onward, and Donald Duck.

(Donald Duck’s superpower is swearing. It’s the greatest.)

While others are island-hopping on Animal Crossing, I am playing hours upon hours of DEB because it’s free and adorable and reminds me of Pokemon.

I gotta catch ’em all.

I think my lives have refilled?

I’m going to go play more DEB while shoving pizza in my mouth.

I WILL WIN A MERIDA ONE DAY, I SWEAR IT.