Posted in Entertainment, Movies

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Star Wars Edition

Just giving the people what they want.

I’m shipping Star Wars characters…but ONLY New Trilogy characters.

MEANING I’ve limited my ships to NAMED characters who

  1. appear in the New Trilogy AND
  2. spend a significant amount of time onscreen.

(REMINDER that this blog focuses on character dynamics rather than canon likelihood. Age differences, familial connections, incompatible orientations and the like have been neutralized for shipping purposes.)

(Also, I use a ton of jargon from TVTropes. For clarity, I’ll link these terms to their corresponding tropes page.)

(Oh, and SPOILERS.)

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Maz Kanata x DJ

Maz’s implied canon love interests are Chewbacca and a tall, dark, and handsome gambler/master codebreaker with a red plom bloom on his lapel.

DJ is tall, morally ambiguous, and attractive (to some.)

He loves stealing spaceships and smacking people with shoes.

I think this is a natural pairing.

VERDICT: SHIP IT

 

Supreme Leader Snoke x Han Solo

Ah yes. Our hero Han Solo loves gold lamé robes and answering to authority.

Hahaaaaaa FALSE.

Snoke is a grandiose, manipulative abuser and Han Solo is not here for it.

Shoot first, ask questions later.

G’bye.

VERDICT: R.I.P. IT

 

Lando Calrissian x Vice Admiral Holdo

…Holdo’s not really dead, is she?

Because this just became my OTP.

Holdo admits to Leia that she likes Poe, another roguish scoundrel.

Poe, the New Trilogy stud, is no match for Lando, Star Wars’ original smoothtalker.

THE OUTFITS ALONE make this a perfect pairing.

VERDICT: SHIP IT

 

Rose Tico x Poe Dameron

Poe Dameron has chemistry with EVERYONE.

Not sure Rose would be interested, though.

Rose didn’t seem too impressed with Poe in their canon interactions (compared to Rey, who VERITABLY SWOONED.)

Sorry, Poe. Not this time.

VERDICT: R.I.P. IT

 

R2-D2 X C-3PO

THE ORIGINAL ODD COUPLE.

I like this pairing…as friends (and even that is a stretch.)

They make more sense as Heterosexual Life Partners than robot lovers.

Personally, I don’t enjoy watching characters bicker Like an Old Married Couple.

Bickering is not ship material.

(Yeah, Ron and Hermione, I’m talking about you.)

VERDICT: R.I.P. IT

 

Kylo Ren x Chewbacca

In Turtles All the Way Down, Daisy ships Rey and Chewbacca…AND I CAN’T TELL IF IT’S MEANT TO BE A JOKE.

Was John Green trying to spoof shipping or is Chewbacca a shippable beast???

To be fair, Rey and Chewbacca make more sense as a couple than KYLO and Chewbacca.

Mr. Rips-People’s-Arms-Outta-Their-Sockets SHOT Kylo in The Force Awakens.

Chewbacca has NO patience for Kylo’s nonsense.

How did Kylo Ren survive childhood?

VERDICT: R.I.P. IT

 

BB-8 x Rey

Per every internet definition I can find, shipping doesn’t HAVE to be romantic.

Thus, Best Buds is an acceptable ship dynamic.

Rey and BB-8 have a cute, not-so-bickery relationship.

Rey WANTS to be tough, but she falls for BB-8 JUST LIKE THE REST OF US.

Why don’t they have more scenes together? This is a travesty.

VERDICT: SHIP IT

 

Luke Skywalker x Captain Phasma

I can’t justify this pairing.

Doesn’t mean I’m not into it.

Luke Skywalker as an Amazon Chaser is my headcanon.

Forgetting Mara Jade for a second, consider Luke’s interactions with female characters.

His relationship with Leia is supportive but not very interesting (at least, not until The Last Jedi, and that conversation is a pre-mortem farewell.)

His grumpy demeanor pushes Rey into morally ambiguous territory. Their fiery arguments, though compelling, don’t scream “ship” to me.

Luke needs contrast.

Phasma is a cold logician who disdains “weak” (i.e., emotional) others.

Not saying this would be a healthy pairing, but it would generate some excellent Foe Yay.

VERDICT: SHIP IT

 

Finn x Leia Organa

SHOULD I like this pairing?

Doesn’t matter – I DO.

Leia wasn’t given much of a choice in the Original Trilogy.

Her options were an unreliable smuggler and the whiniest Chosen One alive (like father, like son.)

I want someone who takes Leia SERIOUSLY.

Finn is plenty serious.

Both characters are fairly no-nonsense and Leia’s sly sense of humor provides a nice contrast to Finn’s uptight anxiety.

I WANT THIS.

VERDICT: SHIP IT

 

Forever Alone: Admiral Hux

Hux yelling

What did you EXPECT, Ginger Space Nazi?

Don’t you DARE defect in the final film.

WE DON’T NEED YOUR TOXICITY IN THE RESISTANCE.

GET LOST. GO HOME. YOUR PRESENCE IS NOT WANTED.

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Would you believe that Hux rant has been toned down?

Please don’t ask about my first draft…

Be free, my little ships!

Fuel fanfiction around the galaxy.

I am what you grow beyond.

Author:

She/her. 4w3. Lover of vegan cream cheese and performative angst. Seattle-based writer currently dabbling in socialism and progressive Christianity. I love to call out, complain, overreact, analyze, and reimagine. This site contains the fruit of that labor.

6 thoughts on “R.I.P. It or Ship It: Star Wars Edition

      1. Haha sometimes I remember how many friends and family members read this blog and I’m like, “…I should tone it down.” ONLY SOMETIMES. This seemed like one of those times; I was throwing the word “Nazi” around.

        Like

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