Yesterday, I deactivated my OkCupid account.
I also wrote up a big list of why I was right to do so.
The list was angry and nitpicky and not so different from the post I wrote several years ago about my last dating app experience.
It didn’t hit me until now how tired I am.
Up until now, I’ve managed to stay fairly optimistic about finding love.
I am no longer in that headspace.
I find it hard to stay motivated when I keep running into misalignments of personality, goals, values, or interests.
Every message I send feels more and more like a cover letter for a job I know won’t hire me.
I did my best and now I need a break.
Deactivating my account gave me a burst of energy. I finished a BUNCH of books yesterday and feel like I could finally whittle down the 10+ books on my Currently Reading pile.
I also feel an interest in writing for once?? That’s new!
For the next month, I’m going to read books and write about Halsey. Dating can wait.