Why I love Netflix’s “Elite”

I just found a wonderful, trashy, perfect new show.

Netflix claimed it was a 97% match for me.

I began watching with blind trust.

The show is called “Elite.” Set in Spain, it follows three scholarship students who’ve just transferred to a fancy new school.

The first episode opens with one of these students walking through the school covered in blood.

Someone died…BUT WHO?

I’m not very far into the show, but I feel like I’ve experienced enough drama for an entire season.

Highlights of “Elite”

1. Netflix, knowing how much I love anime dubs, went ahead and played the English dub of “Elite” without my consent.

   Imagine my confusion when the characters began speaking in hokey, hackneyed English.

   An ACTUAL line in the English dub: “Don’t go near my sister. Just IMAGINE a restraining order!”

   Sick burn?

2. I switched to European Spanish.

   I can understand a lot of what is being said, which feels REALLY GOOD.

   Also, the characters’ accents are ADORABLE.

   Listen to the way they say “Guzman.” It’s the CUTEST.

3. Speaking of accents, the main(ish) character’s older brother calls him “Samu,” but the way he says it sounds like a whale call.
4. Samu(el)’s older brother is DISTRACTINGLY hot.

   So far, he’s one of the worst characters on the show (STOP GOING AFTER UNDERAGE GIRLS), but…he has an undercut.

   And he spends a lot of time not wearing a shirt.

5. In all the shirtless scenes, the male actors wear incredibly low-slung jeans.Tight ones.
6. The introduction of the scholarship students upsets the ruling class at the prep school.

   Wait…does that mean…

   IS THERE AN ALPHA BITCH AT THIS SCHOOL?

   THERE IS!?

   YEEEEEEESS!

   Mean girl Lu harasses, humiliates, and makes racist comments about the new Muslim student.

   That’s not…great.

   Oh, but her ACTING.

   Lu telling a girl in the library to shut up was one of my favorite television moments this year.

7. This is not a highlight, but it’s keeping me motivated: Marina, who is FIFTEEN and HIV-POSITIVE, keeps flirting with Samuel’s TERRIBLE BROTHER.

   GIRL. YES, HE’S HOT, BUT YOU HAVE A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

   Focus on yourself!

8. Also not a highlight: Nadia, the female lead, is the least developed of the three transfers.

   And what a bummer, because on paper she’s an interesting character.

   But the series seems more interested in her (fake) love interest and her gay drug dealer brother.

9. The gay drug dealer brother hooks up with the school jock and it’s kind of my favorite.

   The jock’s name is Ander, which is a name I hate for…reasons, but THE WAY THEY SAY IT is so cute.

   While watching the show, I whisper, “Ander,” to myself in a Spanish accent.

   Also, Ander keeps saying, “I know some secluded spots where we can hook up!”

   EVERY TIME, he takes Omar to these wide-open public areas.

   Characters walk in on them ALL THE TIME.

10. Okay, this is a big spoiler:

    In the second episode, the murder victim is revealed to have been…PREGANANANT?

I LOVE this stupid show. It better have a satisfying finale.

As far as favorites go, I am Team Guzman.

“Elite” is on Netflix RIGHT NOW.

Watch it IN SPANISH, POR FAVOR. Don’t make the same mistake I did.