Posted in Real Life

Scorpio Season

Well, well, well…it’s Scorpio season.

Obviously this means I will be BREAKING OUT MY COPY OF THE SCORPIO RACES.

Should I list other recommendations and activities that I will more than likely NOT participate in?

Of COURSE. ’tis the season.

scorpio.png

What to do during Scorpio season

 

Engage your five senses in water-based activities

Because Scorpio…is a…water sign…listen, I don’t like explaining my jokes.

Possible activities include:

  • Listening to the rain (apologies to those living in drier climates)
  • Drinking more water (I like giving advice that NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD BEFORE)
  • Visiting an aquarium, waterfront, fountain, lake, river, storm drain etc. (I live near the Puget Sound, so this is pretty easy for me to do)
  • Preparing aromatic tea (Mint! Apple cinnamon! Chamomile! Lemon lavender!)
  • Hitting the pool (taking a shower counts, too)

 

Read an intense book that makes you feel feelings

His Hideous Heart will appeal to fans of Edgar Allan Poe. This anthology includes 13 retellings AND the stories they were based on.

The creepy sentient house in A Treason of Thorns will make you feel loads better about your current living situation.

In Beyond the Black Door, Kamai opens a forbidden entrance and comes to terms with her asexuality. I don’t know yet if those two things are related.

Alice Isn’t Dead: A Novel provides scary supernatural adventures in text form. If you like peeing your pants at work, try the podcast.

There Will Come a Darkness promises a Prophet who will either save or destroy the world. ….damn, that’s compelling. I have nothing else to say except I WANT TO READ THIS.

 

Wear more black

women wears black jacket

Ya gotta. Them’s the rules.

 

Listen to “hardcore” songs

Spotify has a “Walk Like a Badass” playlist that I love.

Otherwise, the following songs make me feel cool please don’t make fun of me I am fragile.

  • “Glitter and Gold” by Barns Courtney
  • “Fever” by Adam Lambert
  • “I Don’t Fuck With You” by Big Sean ft. E-40
  • “Can’t Be Tamed” by Miley Cyrus
  • “Boss Ass Bitch” by “Ptaf”
  • “Sorry” by Beyonce
  • “Victorious” by Panic! at the Disco

 

Host a movie night

Did you know most movies that have the word “Scorpio” in the title are either boring or gross?

Here’s a movie without “Scorpio” in the title that might be considered boring AND gross.

IT’S DAVID FINCHER’S ZODIAC!

Watch this movie with pals (highly recommended) while eating wasabi peas and jalapeno popcorn.

scorpio.png

ā™ļø Happy Scorpio Season! ā™ļø

Author:

She/her. Lover of cheese and performative angst. I love to call out, complain, overreact, analyze, and reimagine. This site contains the fruit of that labor.

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