Posted in Books, Movies

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Round 15

FINAL ROUND!!

For round 15, I picked

Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars
and
Cress Darnell from The Lunar Chronicles

Background
Anakin Skywalker feels very attacked right now because EVERYONE KEEPS TREATING HIM LIKE A CHILD. Thought to be the Chosen One, Anakin excels in acting rashly and crying about it later. His flirting skills need WORK.

Sand

Forced out of Lunar society, Cress Darnell spent most of her youth on a satellite hacking Earth’s security feed. Easily impressed, Cress swoons over scoundrels and expresses delight in mundane things like sand. Her flirting skills, along with her life skills, do not exist. Girl is DUMB.

Trustworhty
“HE SEEMS TRUSTWORTHY.”

The Couple
Alas, Anakin’s hatred for sand might keep these two apart.

I find it hard to ship someone as unlikable as Anakin. Who wouldn’t be disillusioned by all that child murder? Or, you know…regular murder?

Sand people

But come on. These two have plenty in common, including childhood enslavement and a love of space travel.

Sure, there are things to dislike about this pairing. Rage. Jealousy. A disturbing height difference.

And, yes, the character Cress fears most is an angry giant with murderous instincts…which pretty much describes Anakin.

Know what? I don’t care.

At least this dynamic is interesting.

At least there’s contrast.

IT’S NOT TILNEY AND LUPIN. THAT’S ALL I CARE ABOUT.

This is the final round and I’m calling it.

Verdict: SHIP IT

Posted in Movies, Theater

R.I.P It or Ship It: Round 4

For round 4, I picked

Roger Davis from RENT
and
Queen Amidala from Star Wars

Background
If Roger Davis isn’t singing about his problems, he’s running away. Granted, he has depression, something I’ve only recently been able to appreciate. He sulks in his apartment. He worries about his lifespan. He picks out melodies on his untuned guitar. His most unforgivable sin results when he mocks his roommate Mark after the funeral of a mutual friend. Mark wishes all his friends would stop dying; Roger spits, “POOR BABY,” and moves to Santa Fe, leaving his best friend and his dying girlfriend behind.

tenor1
“It’s true.”

Naboo elected Queen Amidala when she was 14 years old for unknown reasons. While on the throne, Amidala navigated a siege, political intimidation, and a planet-wide war. She frequently switched places with one of her handmaidens, claiming safety concerns, though one suspects she just liked doing it.

Amidala
“Deal with it.”

The Couple
I’m not even going to fight for this one.

Roger’s depression has him resigned to death. He can’t confront intimacy – he can barely leave the house!

Roger Davis
Pictured: Roger’s contribution to the plot.

Queen Amidala would not have time for that. She is running a PLANET. Her people are under SIEGE. What would taking care of an emotionally volatile man do to her political career?

Anakin
…don’t answer that.

Verdict: R.I.P. IT