INT. 12 GRIMMAUD PLACE – NIGHT
REMUS LUPIN bursts in on HARRY POTTER, HERMIONE GRANGER, and RON WEASLEY in the flat’s shabby living room.
REMUS
Hey, guys! I’m here to join your team!
RON
What team?
HERMIONE
He means the HORCRUXES, Ronald.
HARRY
Where’s Tonks?
Remus rolls his eyes.
REMUS
I don’t know. Probably at her parent’s house.
HARRY
You DID discuss this with your wife, right?
Remus waves a hand.
REMUS
She’s busy being pregnant! This is more important.
Hermione makes a noise in the back of her throat.
Ron shifts uncomfortably.
HARRY
Hang on…you LEFT your PREGNANT wife WITHOUT TELLING HER
to join us on our quest to destroy the Horcruxes of the
most DANGEROUS Dark wizard alive?
REMUS
Tonks is FINE. She has it EASY.
HERMIONE
You think PREGNANCY is EASY?
RON
She needs you, mate!
REMUS
You don’t understand how much HARDER
I have it. I’m a WEREWOLF.
HARRY
You don’t get to thrown down “fantasy AIDS”
as justification for your bad decisions!
YOU LEFT YOUR WIFE AND CHILD!
REMUS
Like I’m the FIRST wizard
to abandon something important
Blushing, Ron tugs at his own shirtsleeve.
HARRY
You can’t come with us, dude.
Go back to your wife.
REMUS
I’m a teacher! You can’t tell me what to do!
HARRY
I’m the Chosen One!
I can do whatever I want!
Huffing, Remus approaches the door. Before leaving, he turns.
REMUS
I thought you were cool like your dad, Harry.
But I guess you’re not.
He exits.
HARRY
(calling after him)
UNCALLED FOR!
He turns to his friends.
HARRY (cont’d)
I AM cool…right?
Hermione looks away. Ron coughs.
EXT. FORBIDDEN FOREST – NIGHT
REMUS LUPIN approaches HARRY POTTER with a magical photograph, a big grin on his face.
LILY POTTER, JAMES POTTER, and SIRIUS BLACK, in ghostly form, watch from several feet away.
A ghostly ALBUS DUMBLEDORE waits behind a tree, giggling.
REMUS
You were right about everything, Harry.
I went back to Tonks.
She gave birth to our son.
Remus presses the photograph into Harry’s hand.
Harry looks down at a sleeping baby with blue hair. He smiles faintly.
REMUS
That’s Teddy. He’s blue.
HARRY
Lupin…I’m so happy for you.
REMUS
Yeah…once I saw him, I knew
I wanted to stick around and
raise him right.
HARRY
I’m sorry I yelled before…
but I’m glad I got to you.
Remus shrugs.
REMUS
Yeah…too bad none of it matters now.
HARRY
And…why not?
REMUS
Because I’m dead.
Harry drops the photograph. He looks at the other ghosts.
LILY
We couldn’t tell you.
SIRIUS
It was Lupin’s decision.
JAMES
Yeah, and the way he died
was AWESOME, man! He-
Lily puts a hand on James’ arm and shakes her head.
Harry turns back to Remus.
HARRY
You’re DEAD?
REMUS
Correct.
HARRY
Come ON, Lupin.
REMUS
HEY – don’t BLAME me.
I died a HERO.
LILY AND JAMES
Yeah, Harry!
SIRIUS
Yeah, Harry!
DUMBLEDORE
(from behind the tree)
Yeah, Harry!
HARRY
(pointing at Dumbledore)
Don’t START with me.
Harry looks around at the ghosts, frowning.
HARRY
By the way…where’s Tonks?
REMUS
(shrugging)
Her parents’ house? I wouldn’t
know, I came straight here.
HARRY
And Teddy?
REMUS
Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh…
HARRY
Lupin…
EXT. KING’S CROSS STATION – DAY
HARRY kneels in front of his son ALBUS SEVERUS.
DEAD REMUS LUPIN stands by a pillar watching the pair. DEAD ALBUS DUMBLEDORE hides behind him in the shadows.
HARRY
Albus Severus…
DEAD REMUS
Hang on…his name is WHAT?
HARRY
You were named after the two bravest
men I ever met.
DEAD REMUS
…that’s hurtful.
HARRY
One of them loved my mom.
DEAD REMUS
Yeah…and it was super gross!
HARRY
The other lied to me for
seven years, relying on
me to complete an impossible
quest, even though I was only
ever an average student.
DEAD REMUS
But you STILL named your kid after him!?
Dead Dumbledore giggles in the shadows.
Confused, Dead Remus cocks his head at the sound.
HARRY
Both were headmasters.
DEAD REMUS
Must I reiterate that I had
FANTASY AIDS and the Hogwarts
parents were BIGOTS?
HARRY
Neither one of them ever
abandoned their own son.
DEAD REMUS
…rude.
HARRY
Neither one left me to coparent
an orphaned child with his
last remaining grandparent.
DEAD REMUS
I died a HERO.
DEAD DUMBLEDORE
(whispering)
Where’s Tonks?
DEAD REMUS looks around the station but doesn’t see where the voice came from.
ALBUS SEVERUS
Dad…can I get on the train now?
HARRY
(standing)
Of course, son.
Albus Severus runs toward the train.
Harry calls after him.
HARRY
Just remember I would never
leave you to try and look cool!
DEAD REMUS
It was ONE TIME.
DEAD DUMBLEDORE
Technically, two times.
Dead Remus finally locates the voice and whirls on Dead Dumbledore.
DEAD REMUS
Seriously, though…ALBUS Severus?
Dead Dumbledore flips him off with both hands.
Harry waves to his other two children.
HARRY
James Sirius Potter and Lily Luna
Nymphadora Rubeus Kingsley Gilderoy
Rufus Molly Neville Arthur Peter Potter!
Time to get on the train!
Dead Remus turns at the sound of these names. His ghostly jaw falls open.
DEAD REMUS
You’re JOKING.
Fin.
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