Posted in Books

Top 5 Nostalgic Ships

Today’s Top 5 Wednesday theme is Nostalgic Ships! I am ALL OVER THAT.

I used to ship these couples hard. Like…HARD.

I had Rini/Gohan, TK/Kari, and Zuko/Katara on this list initially, but my final 5 only includes book couples. Continue reading “Top 5 Nostalgic Ships”

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Posted in Books

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Round 11

For round 11, I picked

Alanna of Trebond from The Song of the Lioness Quartet
and
Emma Woodhouse from Emma

Background
Alanna of Trebond switched places with her twin brother and posed as a boy for years to become Tortall’s first female knight. Her world consists of swordplay, jousting, and magical powers bestowed upon her by the Goddess. She hates social climbers and weak women alike, preferring the company of thieves and warriors.

Alanna
As designated by magical sparks

While Emma Woodhouse has depths, they’re buried deep beneath layers of social niceties and subtle manipulation. Emma loves the power she wields over others. She’s not much for deep conversation, but she throws a mean picnic. Like…actually mean.

Box HIll
Pictured: Box Hill

The Couple
Alanna’s appreciation for other women is limited to those who look fantastic while cutting down enemies. She likes underdogs, oppressed peoples, and magical cats far more than she likes lords and ladies. Don’t get her started on fancy parties.

Emma has no interest in the gritty side of knighthood. She’d be down for songs composed in her honor or daring deeds performed for her praise…but those chivalrous concepts  come from literature and Emma doesn’t read. She prefers wit and throwing the same fancy parties Alanna so despises.

In terms of grit, these two are equals. In any other case, that would be enough. Too bad Emma doesn’t WANT an equal. Look who she picks for a best friend!

Image result for emma harriet smith
UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH.

Compare Alanna to Harriet Smith. Alanna goes after what she wants and challenges people she dislikes. She’s handy with a sword and once killed a man by breaking his nose.

How would Emma control someone like her?

In the second book of her series, Alanna encounters a rival for Prince Jonathan’s affections. Tamora Pierce describes Princess Josiane of the Copper Isles as tall and blonde, a good dancer, and an annoyingly coy flirt. Hmmmmmm….

Emma

Yes, Alanna. Hook up with someone who reminds you of the woman who killed your cat.

Related image
…spoilers.

Verdict: R.I.P. IT

Posted in Books, Theater

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Round 1

For round 1, I picked:

Daine Sarrasri from the Tortall Universe
and
Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton

Background
Daine Sarrasri, the lame follow-up protagonist to Alanna of Trebond, almost made me swear off fantasy. Daine represents everything I hate in female characters: she has the power to talk to animals, but is too incompetent to be of much use. She’s so pure and shy that the plot practically glosses over her. The Strong Female Character trope rose as a reaction to characters like Daine. Shyness, femininity, and empathy don’t have to result in bland, weak, useless characters, yet HERE WE ARE.

You either love or hate Alexander Hamilton, the fast-talking immigrant from Lin-Manuel Miranda’s magnum opus. He outwits British armies! He fights political corruption! He stands up for his ideals! He cheats on his wife! A bunch! Enough times that his murder at the hands of Aaron Burr comes as a relief!

The Couple
All arguments about his complexity aside, Alexander makes a TERRIBLE husband. He picks work over his wife every time, flirting with his sister-in-law through letters meanwhile.

Gross.

Let’s say both Schuyler sisters are out of the picture. Would this arrogant founding father enjoy being eclipsed by a woman who has supernatural abilities?

Related image
“Nope!”

“I’m a wizard with the press!”
“I’m a literal wizard.”

“I defeated the British armies with my tactical brilliance!”
“I deposed a king by storming his castle with an army of zombie dinosaurs.”

While Daine isn’t the one-upping type, no way would Alexander be cool with sharing the spotlight.

As much as I hate Daine, she deserves better.

Verdict: R.I.P. IT

Posted in Books, Movies

R.I.P. It or Ship It

It’s time to ship some characters.

love stupid ships. When writing with friends, my go-to prompt is always, “Write the most unlikely couple you can think of.” I find this exercise fascinating even if they hate doing it. Some of my favorite ships have started as a joke; the more I laugh, the more sense the pairing makes.

So I played “R.I.P. It or Ship It” and the results were intense.

I picked 30 characters from 15 of my favorite franchises. To make things interesting, I picked a character I love from each franchise alongside a character I have more complicated feelings for.

Then I made some arbitrary rules:

  1. I tried to pick only 2 characters per franchise. (I may have cheated with “Star Wars.”)
  2. Any underage characters were aged up for the purposes of this game.
  3. Because I was more interested in dynamics than in canon potential, incompatible orientation was not a dealbreaker.

Here were the players:

The Lunar Chronicles
Jacin Clay (love) and Cress Darnell (loathe)

Harry Potter
Harry Potter (love) and Remus Lupin (loathe)

Fruits Basket
Kyo Sohma (love) and Shigure Sohma (dislike)

Avatar: The Last Airbender
Prince Zuko (love) and Princess Azula (despise)

Star Wars: New Trilogy
Kylo Ren (LOVE) and Admiral Hux (dislike)

Star Wars: Prequel Trilogy
Queen Amidala (like) and Anakin Skywalker (despise)

The Raven Cycle
Ronan Lynch (LOVE) and Adam Parrish (long story)

Northanger Abbey
Henry Tilney (LOVE) and Catherine Morland (resent)

Jane Austen’s Emma
Emma Woodhouse (like) and Harriet Smith (LOATHE)

You Know Me Well
Kate (like) and Ryan (DESPISE)

BBC’s The Musketeers
Porthos (LOVE) and Athos (LOATHE)

The Princess Diaries
Mia Thermopolis (like) and Lilly Moscovitz (loathe)

Tamora Pierce’s Tortall Universe
Alanna of Trebond (like) and Daine Sarrasri (despise)

Hamilton
Aaron Burr (love) and Alexander Hamilton (hate)

RENT
Mark Cohen (like) and Roger Davis (long story)

Thus occurred 15 rounds of romances so impossible they each deserve their own post.

Posted in Books

BOOK REVIEW: Defy by Sara B. Larson

The premise: Alexa Hollen has been disguising herself as Alex Hollen for years to escape the king’s ominous “breeding house.” She and her twin brother Marcel are part of the prince’s guard, sworn to protect Prince Damian above even the king. A series of events results in Alex being kidnapped, along with the prince and her fellow guard, Rylan. Alex must deal with a terrorist group, a royal conspiracy, and her feelings for both men, all while trying to keep them–and herself–alive.

My favorite book growing up was Alanna: The First Adventure. Alanna did all the things I was nowhere near ballsy enough to do: disguise herself as a boy, train to be a knight, protect her prince, collude with thieves, and fight mythical beasts. My favorite part was that she posed as a boy for years–I couldn’t believe she was able to pull that off to fulfill her dream. It struck me as impressive and brave. Prior to puberty, I was convinced, if given the chance, I could pull it off.

As an adult, I’m less positive I could do it. But that’s not the point.

Alexa, the protagonist of Defy, also chooses to pose as a boy and join the king’s army to avoid a life of constant rape and pregnancy. I applaud her decision, but would have found it more meaningful if I hadn’t hated her SO. MUCH.

It really irritates me when a convention I like is done poorly. The two conventions in Defy‘s case are the aforementioned girl-dressing-as-boy plot point and a reaaaallly half-hearted love triangle.

I wasn’t super girly as a kid and didn’t feel feminine, so I like books where the heroine relates to and feels comfortable around men. I didn’t like Alexa, though, at all–something about her really bugged me. Her issues seemed off. I can understand how confusing it would be to pretend to be a straight male in order to gain respect while hiding sexual feelings for your male companions. Alexa’s reaction, however, to this event was, “What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way?”

Not, “I can’t afford to feel this way,” though that was explored a bit. No, her main question was, “Why am I feeling this way?”

…because you’re straight. You like guys. You are actually a woman and you are attracted to men.

It just struck me as a strange reaction and/or focus for the author, and it made Alexa seem reaaaal stupid.

Alexa also repressed a lot of her emotions to keep up the man facade, even after multiple of her peers told her it was okay to grieve. I didn’t feel it was consistent with her character; I felt it was an assumption about how her type of character should act. I think my irritation is personal; I don’t like “non-girly female” interpreted as “unemotional female,” because those don’t always go together. Case in point: a short-haired, uber-casual female blogger who cries once a week about entertainment.

My face is turned to hide my tears.
My face is turned to hide my tears.

The love triangle was the other part that didn’t work for me, which is unfortunate. I understand why people have problems with love triangles, and I should be horrified by them on principle…but I secretly love them. And, sometimes, love triangles can wooooork.

This one did not.

Defy‘s love triangle can be summed up as, “Alexa found herself drawn to Prince Damian more and more…and also Rylan was there.” It’s hard for me when love triangles are uneven. If you can’t write one side of the triangle convincingly, why not cut it? Then you could have a convincing romance instead of wasting pages on a weaker one.

And UGH. I hated Rylan. So, so much.

He came across as very entitled. I get how frustrating it is to love someone who loves someone else, especially when that other person is unworthy. “Grand Theft Autumn” is one of my favorite songs, and I have earnestly sung, “You need him?/I should be him,” many a time. You are allowed to feel this way and even express these feelings if the person you like has been stringing you along. It’s best to get everything out in the open.

HOWEVER.

It is not okay to shame the person you like for not liking you and/or liking someone else. You do not deserve their love because you’ve loved them for a long time. If someone is not interested in you, despite your good qualities, that sucks…but you HAVE TO GET OVER IT. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE.

Rylan throws tantrums and guilts Alexa the entire book. Even though he was intended to be a sympathetic character, I did not find him sympathetic in the least, and was even less invested in the love triangle because of his childishness. He hurt the story rather than helping it; if he had been written differently, he might have been sympathetic. As it was, he was awful and useless and I wish his actions had been framed as selfish.

Characters aside, the situations they found themselves seemed laughable and sort of fanfic-y. “Oh no, here I am as a prisoner in the jungle, and I have to share a tent with both the guys I like! What a dilemma!” At least the shojo animes I watch have the sense to play this event for comedy!

Also, for all his good qualities, Damian kept trying to get in “quality time” with Alexa while Rylan was sleeping. That’s gross and also SUPER RUDE, and would be even if the guy in question wasn’t in love with your girl! Alexa would tell him to stop, because she didn’t want to hurt Rylan’s feelings. Um, how about IT’S COMMON COURTESY NOT TO BANG IN FRONT OF SOMEONE YOU SHARE A TENT WITH?

The book wasn’t all bad. I finished the whole thing. Larson kept me guessing with the plot, constantly bringing up twists that I in no way anticipated. She didn’t flinch away from harsher material; while dark and hard to read at times, I appreciated that she didn’t sugarcoat what reality was like for women in the kingdom. She also dealt well with grief and sacrifice and the loneliness of keeping up a pretense. Unlike Tamora Pierce, she didn’t shy away from killing off important characters (note: I say that with regard to Lady Knight specifically.) And, perhaps most admirably, she didn’t offer romantic resolution. I don’t love the way she went about it, but I felt that choice was purposeful and improved Alexa’s character. The ending was sort of a sequel hook and while I have no intention of reading the next book, I felt the hope of the characters as they looked forward to a new start.

To sum up, while parts of this book were good, the elements that failed brought the whole book down. It’s one I’m glad I got from the library instead of buying. Give it a read if you want interesting ethical dilemmas and some good fantasy action; also check it out to see how NOT to write a love triangle.