Posted in Books

Spring Cleaning Book Tag: 2019 Edition

My schedule has fluctuated massively in the last few weeks.

With new Tuesday classes, weekly dinners, and church events, I feel like I’m busy all the time.

I’m getting a rare night in to recalibrate and get some reading done.

Writing-wise, my brain is broken, so I’ve been stacking up the book tags.

I’ve seen this tag around the blogosphere.

Today, I finally participate.

Continue reading “Spring Cleaning Book Tag: 2019 Edition”

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Posted in Books

Top 5 Nostalgic Ships

Today’s Top 5 Wednesday theme is Nostalgic Ships! I am ALL OVER THAT.

I used to ship these couples hard. Like…HARD.

I had Rini/Gohan, TK/Kari, and Zuko/Katara on this list initially, but my final 5 only includes book couples. Continue reading “Top 5 Nostalgic Ships”

Posted in Books

Lauren’s Go-To Reads: Old Standbys

“So,” the interviewer starts, holding his iPhone near my face. “What books have most influenced your writing?”

“Yes, tell us,” says Adam Grant, my research hero. I haven’t figured out yet why he’s here. “Which authors acted as mentors in your youth?”

“Interesting question, Adam.” I grab the iPhone and speak directly into it “Follow-up question: Will I be mentioned in your next book?”

Adam smiles enigmatically but doesn’t answer the question.

Feeling left out, the nameless interviewer clears his throat.

“All right, chill. As it happens, I made a list of books that have influenced me.”

Fascinating.” Adam scribbles something on his notepad. From here, it looks like, “Scrap interview – call Malcolm G,” but I’ve never been good at reading upside-down.

“This seems like a long intro to a post,” the interviewer grumbles.

“NO ONE ASKED YOU.” Continue reading “Lauren’s Go-To Reads: Old Standbys”

Posted in Books

Summer Reading List

I’ve rejoiced my parents’ last day of school. I’ve purchased aloe for a terrible sunburn. I’ve broken out the baby powder for 80-degree days.

Summer is upon us.

That means it’s time to read. A lot.

If you’re looking for suggestions, I have TRILLIONS. I even organized them from fluffy to thought-provoking, with ample gray area for darker reads.

Here they are in list form. I’ll start with the fluffiest and get progressively more…mature? Serious? Literary? Whatever.

Key:
YA: Young Adult
CR: Currently Reading
TBR: To Be Read

  1. The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot (YA)
    A 14-year-old Manhattanite finds out she’s actually a European princess. I will never not recommend this book.
  2. When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon (YA, TBR)
    Two teens with clashing personliaties meet and presumably fall in love at computer camp. I will note that I bought this for $3 at a book sale solely because of the iced coffee on the book jacket.
  3. My Lady’s Choosing: An Interactive Romance Novel by Kitty Curran and Larissa Zageris
    An absolutely insane choose-your-own-adventure romance. Your choices include a sharp-tongued aristocrat, a half-dressed Scotsman, an intrepid explorer, and several fantastical creatures of dubious sanity. Rated NC-17. No, I’m not kidding.
  4. Bad Kitty by Michele Jaffe (YA)
    Forensics fanatic Jasmine Callihan, along with her colorful group of friends, tries to solve a mystery involving a cat, a severed thumb, and Kermit underpants. Hilarity ensues. This is the funniest book I’ve ever read, hands down, and the biggest influence on my writing style. Show some RESPECT.
  5. The Selection series by Kiera Cass (YA)
    Published in the wake of The Hunger Games, these books ask an important question, namely: What if the monarchy participated in a “Bachelor”-style reality show to pick the new queen? THESE BOOKS ARE SO DUMB…but I own the entire series, including the spin-offs, which have made me weep REAL TEARS.
  6. The Good Girl’s Guide to Getting Lost: A Memoir of Three Continents, Two Friends, and One Unexpected Adventure by Rachel Friedman (TBR)
    Good girl Rachel Friedman shocks everyone by buying a ticket to Ireland on a whim. I keep buying travelogues with mixed results, so we’ll see how this goes.
  7. Something New: Tales From a Makeshift Bride by Lucy Knisley
    An artist’s tale of her DIY wedding in comic book format. Includes recipes, photos, practical wedding tips, and pages soaked with my tears.
  8. Less by Andrew Sean Greer (TBR)
    Author books whirlwind speaking tour to cope with ex’s wedding. I’m guessing he Finds Love and Learns About Himself…but the book won the Pulitzer prize, so it has to be good,
  9. The Theory of Everything by Kari Luna (YA, CR)
    Sophie Sophia, like her father before her, has an active imagination. JUST KIDDING! She HALLUCINATES! Or does she…? A thoughtful look at mental illness in hot pink packaging.
  10. Lunch in Paris: A Love Story with Recipes by Elizabeth Bard
    Follows a New York writer as she falls in love with French cuisine. Includes many recipes I will never attempt and one for profiteroles I might.
  11. Dramarama by E. Lockhart (YA)
    Small-town girl and her gay best friend navigate theater camp politics. Come for the amateur musicals. Stay for the smart handling of sexuality, race, and identity.
  12. Ship It by Britta Lundin (YA)
    A slash shipper and an inexperienced actor go on tour following a PR slip-up. I thought it would be silly romp about shipping culture, but its deep dive into representation and belonging broke my stupid heart.
  13. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (YA)
    Bisexual bad boy Lord Henry “Monty” Montague takes a trip with sister Felicity and secret crush Percy that turns into a piratical adventure full of…frank discussions about race and sexuality? WHAT?
  14. If I Stay by Gayle Forman (YA)
    Girl hospitalized following a car accident ponders whether she wants to keep living. This was THE book in 2009 and it made everyone cry. Think The Notebook for teens, only interesting and well-written.
  15. The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart (YA)
    Private school girl infiltrates all-male secret society. Alternate title: A Young Girl’s Guide to Smashing the Patriarchy.
  16. The Graceling Realm series by Kristin Cashore (YA)
    Fast-paced, female-led fantasy novels with a feminist bent. Though all three books are excellent, Fire is my favorite.
  17. Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor (YA)
    “Once upon a time, an angel and a devil fell in love. It did not end well.” That first line was all the context I had going into this book. I’ve read lots of fantastical forbidden love stories in my day; I don’t often get to read one this well-written. Also, winner of the award for MOST TRAUMATIZING DEATH SCENE. I READ THIS AT WORK. I WAS UNPREPARED.
  18. The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer (YA)
    Grimm’s Fairy Tales…IN SPACE. Series highlights: Scarlet falling for a terse streetfighter in Scarlet and all the characters joining forces to abduct royalty in Cress.
  19. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo (YA)
    Six teenage criminals pull off an impossible heist. Don’t let the book’s thickness fool you – the plot moves fast. Contains multiple romances and a gunslinger(!).
  20. The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater (YA)
    Pyschic-adjacent Blue meets a band of prep school boys with an unnatural interest in Welsh kings. Home to THE GREATEST YA HERO in recent memory. The Raven Cycle? More like the RONAN Cycle.
  21. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green (YA)
    Anxious teenager Asa Holmes joins her exuberant best friend in a money-making scheme that results in Asa confronting her issues with intimacy, as well as her waning mental health. Contains incredibly-accurate and validating depiction of anxiety.
  22. Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore (YA)
    On orders from her deceased aunt, Jane travels to the mysterious mansion Tu Reviens, where things get weird as hell. That’s all I’ve got.
  23. The Big Lie by Julie Mayhew
    Alternate history exploring a modern-day Third Reich. Picked this up at a Blind Date with a Book giveaway. No regrets.
  24. Am I There Yet? The Loop-de-Loop, Zigzagging Journey to Adulthood by Mari Andrew
    Illustrator Mari Andrew reassures “unsuccessful” millennials with her own journey through early adulthood. Buy this for your sad 20-something friends.
  25. The Happiness Project, Or, Why I  Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin
    Chronicles Gretchen Rubin’s attempt to increase her happiness in 12 months with charts and research. Eat, Pray, Love for the left-brained set.
  26. Mothering Sunday by Graham Swift
    Follows the life of a maid having an affair with a wealthy lord in the 1920s. It’s deeper than you would expect.
  27. You Can’t Touch my Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain by Phoebe Robinson
    Humorous and thoughtful take on race relations in America. Contains one of my favorite passages on sidewalk rage ever printed.
  28. Would You Rather by Katie Heaney
    Writer Katie Heaney comes out as gay after 28 years believing herself straight. This book came out in May; I’ve already read it four times. Will appeal to anyone who has moved to a big city, struggled with anxiety, or  watched “The L Word.”
  29. Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
    Gay’s essays deconstruct “perfect” feminism, popular television, rape culture, and use of the word “girl.” Now available in pink!
  30. Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans
    Evans ties modern church pitfalls with her own experiences using the seven sacraments. Perfect for depressives dealing with a crisis of faith. (Meaning ME. IT’S PERFECT FOR ME.)
  31. Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill/Chemistry by Weike Wang
    Two stream-of-consciousness novels about women battling mental breakdowns. These books are weirdly similar, but I love them both.
  32. The Tiger’s Wife by Tea Obreht
    After her grandfather dies unexpectedly, a young woman traces his origins to a village that once harbored an escaped tiger. That sound you hear is my stupid heart breaking all over the pages.
  33. The Underground Railroad by Coulson Whitehead (TBR)
    A novel about the Underground Railroad…except, in this story, it’s a literal railroad. Also a Pulitzer Prize winner, AND I’ve heard the author namedropped by my two favorite podcasters.
  34. Hild by Nicola Griffith (CR)
    A novelist’s take on medieval warrior princess St. Hilda of Whitby. Called “one of the best novels ever.” So far my experience fits that description.
Posted in Books

Book Betrayals: A List of Past Hurts, pt. 5

While making my last few lists, I realized I’d had a pretty good life. The bulk of my book betrayals occurred after I turned 18; I couldn’t recall any hurtful childhood reads.

Then I remembered.

There were betrayals, all right.

And they started early.

 

Riding Freedom by Pam Muñoz Ryan

I was 6 when the school librarians tricked me.

“Hi, Lauren,” they said as I approached the checkout counter. “You like horses, right?”

I looked down at the stack of Saddle Club and Marguerite Henry books in my arms. “Obviously” felt like an overstatement.

They slid a slim volume across the counter and smiled. “Then you’ll love this book.”

Image result for riding freedom pam munoz ryan

The librarians knew I only read horse literature, a genre I clung to until I turned 10. We’re not talking horse-adjacent literature – the horse had to play a large role or I lost interest. (Think The Horse and His Boy.)

Call me paranoid, but my teachers must have been in talks with the library to get me to read more “substantial” stories. They tricked me the only way they knew how: by bribing me with horses.

I never saw it coming.

Three revelations about this story:

  • The plot focuses on the life of Charlotte (later called Charley) Parkhurst
  • Besides being a metaphor, the title refers to Charley’s favorite childhood horse
  • The horse dies in the first 20 pages

Thus begins Charley Parkhurst’s life as a runaway and the last time a specific horse is mentioned in this book.

I was too young for symbolism. All I felt was horror.

And outrage.

Not only was the horse DEAD, I’d wasted my time reading about a boring REAL person who disguised herself as a MAN for some reason??

“How did you like the book?” the librarians asked on my next trip.

“HATED it,” I griped as I checked out another Saddle Club, little knowing how my interest in trans characters would skyrocket in the years to come.

I could tell my librarians weren’t sorry; they thought they’d done me a favor.

Maybe they had.

 

Shades of Gray by Carolyn Reeder

Many of these betrayals were born out of misunderstandings.

Careful reader that I am, I believed this book would take place during the Civil War, an impression not helped by my classmates (who thought the same thing) and my eighth-grade teacher (who deliberately fueled those misconceptions.)

Looking back, I think our teacher felt insecure about her choice of book and needed any encouragement, genuine or manufactured.

She was right to be uneasy.

Image result for shades of gray carolyn reeder
Starring Alfred E. Neuman

The story does NOT take place during the Civil War, automatically lessening the tension. Think of how good this book COULD have been if Southern-sympathizer Will moved in with his abolitionist uncle DURING THE WAR! Then, as the conflict raged on, Will would have to reconcile his limited view of freedom with the ethics of slavery.

Unconcerned with notions of “stakes” or “plot,” author Carolyn Reeder set her story after the Civil War. The bulk of the plot focuses on Will’s struggles with chores (“WHY CAN’T SLAVES JUST DO THEM FOR ME?”), his crush on his cousin (…ew?), and his battle with local bullies.

His moral conversion takes place in a series of preachy conversations with his uncle Jed. Eventually, Jed convinces Will that Slavery is Bad, Freedom is Good, and sometimes Courage is needed for Hard Things. Inspired, Will does his chores and stands up to his tormentors.

Imagine if Will’s conversion had had an impact on his actions ASIDE from the requisite bully defeat.

I was 14 when my teacher forced us to read this. I’d been in school long enough to learn that Slavery is Bad. The book tried to convince us of this obvious fact without addressing the historical nuances.

When the class rebelled and began trash-talking this book, our teacher lost it. “THIS IS AWARD-WINNING LITERATURE!” she screamed.

She’s right: this trash won awards for telling an anti-bullying story with the moral “Slavery is Bad.”

I now know where my cynicism comes from.

 

The Sky Inside by Clare B. Dunkle

Y’all remember this book? No? Good, because I’m about to trash it ALL OVER AGAIN.

As always, the cover drew me in.

Related image

I noticed my friend Amby reading this book during math class (in the front row, no less!) She glared when I reached out to touch the shiny cover.

had to know what it was about. “Amby!” I shoutwhispered. “What’s it about!?”

Rolling her eyes, Amby handed me the book.

I scanned the details, attention snagging on the words “fast-paced science-action thriller.” “Can I borrow this?”

For reasons I will never understand, Amby agreed. I read the first few chapters in awed silence. Protagonist Martin and his family lived under a dome with simulated weather. Instead of favoring natural birth, parents genetically engineered children. Instead of actual pets, people owned robotic dogs.

This, I thought, had never been attempted in all of fiction. (I was 14.)

After the initial set-up, a stranger appeared under the dome, promising to take the genius children to a “special school.” After discovering no such school existed, Martin and his robot dog Chip left the dome to rescue his sister.

The rest of the novel read like a survivalist manual.

“Protagonist must brave elements” is one of my least favorite tropes. During elementary school, I opted out of reading “Hatchet,” “Guts,” “My Side of the Mountain,” and any other boy-oriented adventure novel published between 1950 and 2005. I don’t want to read an entire book about a character’s struggle to stay warm during harsh mountain winters.

The bulk of The Sky Inside follows Martin as he hoofs it outside (odd, considering the title.) He might have encountered genuine stakes at some point, but I only remember him falling down hills and talking to his robot dog.

Good gravy, that last part.

In its first act, the musical Murder for Two introduces a mute, invisible cop named Lou. The other characters interact with Lou, joking that if it wasn’t for him, they’d be talking to themselves.

Martin’s robodog Chip serves the same function without the humor brought by Lou. Any thought Martin has, he directs at Chip. “Gee, boy, why hasn’t the sun gone down?” “Golly, Chip, it sure is cold out here!”

I’d guess Clare B. Dunkle wanted to avoid writing “he thought to himself” over and over again, yet having Martin talk to a dog doesn’t feel any more natural than hearing Martin’s inner monologue. In fact, I’d rather Martin talk to himself than have inane, one-sided conversations WITH HIS ROBOTIC DOG.

Both Martin and I survived this reading experience, but it tarnished my view of sci-fi forever.

 

Forever Princess by Meg Cabot

My favorite book in The Princess Diaries series is Princess Mia.

In the series’ penultimate book, Mia battles depression, copes with a breakup, reconciles with her enemies, loses a friend, and upends her country’s government.

I remember bursting with hope when I finished the book. I’d never been more invested in Mia’s struggles or felt so proud of what she’d accomplished. It was the perfect end to a long journey.

Then the final book of the series came out.

Image result for forever princess

Forever Princess isn’t awful, if my umpteen rereads are any indication. It has all the jokes and drama you’d expect from a Princess Diaries novel. I made my peace with this ending a long time ago.

I wasn’t so understanding when it first came out.

Where do I even begin? To parse out my feelings on Forever Princess is to unravel my psyche.

Let’s liken it to Winter to simplify things: like other series finales, Forever Princess is too happy. No bittersweetness here; the final book is all fluff with every plot line ending happily.

In some ways, this isn’t surprising: the reason I read the series is for its light-hearted tone.

After the previous two books, however, the fluffy optimism comes as a shock.

Mia deals with more complex issues as she grows older, as seen in books 8 and 9, which deal openly with heartbreak and mental illness. The realism in these books makes Forever Princess feel all the more jarring.

Most disappointing to me was Meg Cabot’s handling of the romance.

Suffice it to say Michael Moscovitz was never my perfect Prince Charming. The longer the series went on, the less I liked him. Meg Cabot argues for the “opposites attract” theory of romance, claiming that Mia and Michael’s lack of common traits makes them a perfect pair. Personally, I prefer couples that have more in common (which is why I shipped Mia and JP.)

Michael also makes some choices regarding his relationship with Mia that I found unforgivable at ages 14, 15, and 16.

At best, Michael is a clueless dud. At worst, he’s kind of a tool.

Luckily, there’s a way to fix that!

By book 9, Meg Cabot had broken up her beloved couple and paired Mia with theater geek John Paul “J.P.” Reynolds-Abernathy, another nice, if clueless, love interest who at least treated Mia well.

To make Michael the more suitable option, Cabot transformed J.P. from a rebound into a dastardly villain. Watch as he expertly manipulates everyone around him! Witness him booking a hotel room without Mia’s knowledge! Feel his arrogance as he climbs the stairs to accept his Prom King crown! MWAHAHAHA! It’s a full-on Prince Hans situation.

Image result for prince hans
“REMEMBER ME?”

To contrast with his younger persona, Michael became buff, rich, and famous, and therefore more suitable for reasons that contradicted the series’ “Be Yourself” moral.

I’m not as anti-Michael as I was in 2009. Still, I’m unconvinced Michael is Mia’s perfect prince, especially as Mia was so anxious during the bulk of their relationship. I was more interested in seeing Michael get his comeuppance for the way he treated Mia, or SOMETHING aside from the “love covers everything” approach to their reunion romance.

At the time, Mia and I were both graduating from high school and dealing with all the emotions that come with change. After following Mia’s adventures for years, I watched my favorite princess earn a “majorly happy ending.”

I didn’t want a happy ending – I wanted a fresh start.

Almost a decade later, it still hurts to see my path diverge from Mia’s. I go back and reread the series from time to time to experience that same giddy, fizzy feeling I felt when I first read these books, but it’s not the same.

Princess Mia gave me the shot of hope I needed as an 18-year-old soon-to-be graduate. Peaceful as I pretend to be, part of me wishes Forever Princess never happened.