Posted in Books, Movies

The High School Musical Book Tag

For several years, High School Musical formed a large part of my identity.

I LOVE these movies (even the third one.)

Where else does one find cheesy, earnest musicals about summer busboys and their romantic dramas?

WHERE, I ASK YOU?

Continue reading “The High School Musical Book Tag”

Posted in Books

10 Day Book Blog Post Challenge #9: Write about a favorite ship

As a rule, I don’t believe in Relationship Goals. No couple inspires me enough that I want a relationship like theirs. With most ships, the details of their union leave me thinking, “That would never work for me.”

That isn’t, however, true of all my favorite ships.

Scanning my bookshelf, I found a couple I actually DO admire. Continue reading “10 Day Book Blog Post Challenge #9: Write about a favorite ship”

Posted in Books, Entertainment, Movies, Television

Fantasy Feminist Team

I’m finally doing it.

I’m forming a girl squad.

I’ve put it off for years because my friends keep choosing true love over the sisterhood. They tell me marriage is a whole lot of fun.

BUT IS IT?

GIRL SQUAD, ASSEMBLE!

What would this squad do? I don’t know. Win? Fight for love and justice? Discuss film theory? Have pizza nights because I miss those most?

“Girl squad” sounds juvenile for something this important.

How about…Fantasy Feminist Team?

Perfect. Continue reading “Fantasy Feminist Team”

Posted in Books, Movies

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Round 14

For round 14, I picked

Remus Lupin from The Harry Potter series
and
Henry Tilney from Northanger Abbey

Background
Remus Lupin taught at Hogwarts until Lucius Malfoy outed him as a werewolf. He loves chocolate, books, and acts of bravery. He also briefly abandoned his pregnant wife and I’m still not over it.

Weirdest ship
WHY WAS THIS A SHIP?

Perfect party host Henry Tilney flirts with everyone without making it weird. He teases without overstepping. He even puts up with idiotic heroines for the sake of romantic resolution. That takes class.

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R.I.P. IT.

The Couple
I can’t think of a more boring couple.

What would they do together? Drink tea? Talk about books? Hide Lupin’s monthly transformations from Henry’s family?

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“I heard ‘werewolves.'”

You KNOW a ship is boring when I have to use CATHERINE MORLAND as my punchline.

Sure, Henry’s shares personality traits with Remus’ closest friends…but is that enough?

And Remus used to be a notorious prankster…but now? He’s so stodgy! He would grade papers during Harry’s parties…while wearing a cardigan. (Sidebar: Why was Remus friends with the Marauders? Why am I questioning canon? THIS SHIP IS DESTROYING MY LOVE FOR HARRY POTTER!!)

Until this pairing, I didn’t think anything could be worse than both these characters’ ACTUAL CANON SHIPS.

I didn’t come here to be bored.

Verdict: R.I.P. IT

Posted in Books

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Round 11

For round 11, I picked

Alanna of Trebond from The Song of the Lioness Quartet
and
Emma Woodhouse from Emma

Background
Alanna of Trebond switched places with her twin brother and posed as a boy for years to become Tortall’s first female knight. Her world consists of swordplay, jousting, and magical powers bestowed upon her by the Goddess. She hates social climbers and weak women alike, preferring the company of thieves and warriors.

Alanna
As designated by magical sparks

While Emma Woodhouse has depths, they’re buried deep beneath layers of social niceties and subtle manipulation. Emma loves the power she wields over others. She’s not much for deep conversation, but she throws a mean picnic. Like…actually mean.

Box HIll
Pictured: Box Hill

The Couple
Alanna’s appreciation for other women is limited to those who look fantastic while cutting down enemies. She likes underdogs, oppressed peoples, and magical cats far more than she likes lords and ladies. Don’t get her started on fancy parties.

Emma has no interest in the gritty side of knighthood. She’d be down for songs composed in her honor or daring deeds performed for her praise…but those chivalrous concepts  come from literature and Emma doesn’t read. She prefers wit and throwing the same fancy parties Alanna so despises.

In terms of grit, these two are equals. In any other case, that would be enough. Too bad Emma doesn’t WANT an equal. Look who she picks for a best friend!

Image result for emma harriet smith
UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH.

Compare Alanna to Harriet Smith. Alanna goes after what she wants and challenges people she dislikes. She’s handy with a sword and once killed a man by breaking his nose.

How would Emma control someone like her?

In the second book of her series, Alanna encounters a rival for Prince Jonathan’s affections. Tamora Pierce describes Princess Josiane of the Copper Isles as tall and blonde, a good dancer, and an annoyingly coy flirt. Hmmmmmm….

Emma

Yes, Alanna. Hook up with someone who reminds you of the woman who killed your cat.

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…spoilers.

Verdict: R.I.P. IT

Posted in Books

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Round 9

For round 9, I picked

Ryan from You Know Me Well
and
Catherine Morland from Northanger Abbey

Background
How do you know Ryan is a serious artist? He writes SLAM POETRY and works on a LITERARY JOURNAL, two things that would make him cool if he wasn’t such a terrible friend. Ryan pretends his “friends with benefits” relationship never happened. When confronted, HE NEVER APOLOGIZES. His feelings eclipse every wrong he’s ever done. In short, Ryan is the WORST.

Ryan
“I’m the real victim here!”

And then we have Catherine Morland, the patron saint of stupidity. Young, fanciful, and dumb as a rock, she creates AN ENTIRE MURDER PLOT out of nothing. That’s not fanciful; that’s insane. I don’t love that when people think of “bookish” characters, they list Hermione Granger, Harriet the Spy, and her. THIS IS NOT THE CHAMPION I ASKED FOR!

Ruining
Catherine Morland: ruining reading for women since 1817.

The Couple
Well…they’ve tied for first in my Most Hated Character contest.

Ryan loves slapping ill-fitting labels on himself and others; for instance, he, the oblivious, self-centered tool, is the Sensitive Artist, while his emotionally-savvy best friend is the Dumb Jock.

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Cute.

Catherine sees things that aren’t real. She would buy into Ryan’s broody shtick real fast. She might even see good qualities he CLEARLY DOES NOT HAVE. Ryan must be who he says he is; Catherine’s read plenty of books with Sensitive Artists in them!

PEOPLE ARE MORE COMPLEX THAN THAT, CATHERINE.

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on the fact that I despise Catherine Morland.

Image result for catherine morland
I’M NOT SORRY

EVEN SO, I can’t help but think of the devastating fallout ahead.

Do you know how much energy it takes to feed someone’s self-perception? Constantly feeding another person’s ego while they roil with “torment” kills relationships.

What happens when Ryan’s facade finally fails and Catherine sees there’s nothing there?

She’ll discover that her relationship, much like creating murder mysteries out of thin air, has been a complete waste of time.

I wouldn’t wish that on ANYONE.

Verdict: R.I.P. IT

Posted in Books, Movies

R.I.P. It or Ship It: Round 8

For round 8, I picked

Harriet Smith from Emma
and
General Hux from Star Wars

Background
According to Regency social conventions, Harriet Smith is worth nothing. An ungenerous person might call her an uneducated upstart with no class or personality. A petty person might comment on her annoying voice. A cruel person might call her “naive” or “spineless.” That is just a sampler of things someone might say about Miss Smith.

Image result for emma harriet smith
Keep reading, I have plenty more to say

General Hux serves as Kylo Ren’s competent foil. Where Ren strikes fear, Hux commands respect. Where Ren overreacts, Hux maintains order. Hux will let no idiot stand between him and his plans.

Enough
Okay, sorry!

The Couple
I-

Hux yelling

I just-

Fire

Should I be shipping this!?

Hello no.gif

What can I say here?

Hux would not hesitate to blasterbolt Harriet in her stupid face the minute she became a load.

If she became a load, that is. Harriet has no opinions of her own, making her easy to manipulate. Need a loyal soldier to the First Order? Tell Harriet Hux has a crush on her. I can see her being of use in different areas: the First Order’s laundry division; on the bridge of a Star Destroyer; as Hux’s assistant with a cute little datapad. The woman just needs a job.

So it comes down to Hux: destroy a useless nobody with an annoying voice or retain her fawning idiocy for his own purposes?

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Decisions, decisions…

 

Sorry, buddy. I’m making this call.

Verdict: SHIP IT