You know how I made my Quintessential Summer Book Tag Midsommar-themed, as I am apparently obsessed with that movie?
I decided that wasn’t enough.
WELCOME, FOLKS, TO THE MIDSOMMAR BOOK TAG. Continue reading “Midsommar Book Tag [ORIGINAL]”
I spent the summer of 2012 on the website TVTropes.
Tropes got me through a stressful nanny job, my first breakup, and a panic surrounding college housing.
I’ve been using the website ever since. As soon as I finish a new show, I pull up it’s YMMV page to read alternate theories and comments. Continue reading “Tropes Book Tag”
I keep by my bookshelf a pile of books I plan to sell at Powell’s. This time around, the victims include Lena Dunham’s memoir, Tillie Walden’s first graphic novel, a poorly-written account of a transgender teenager, and three YA romances I couldn’t finish.
This shouldn’t be a huge deal – I stop reading books all the time. I find it freeing to give up on something I’ve struggled to get through.
Quitting on romances, however, is new…and it bothers me. Continue reading “I Hate Romance”
My friends love Marvel; I’m undecided. I didn’t start taking Marvel seriously until “The Avengers” came out, so call me a bandwaggoner or whatever else you want. I’m from Washington state, I’m used to it.
I had some…sources tell me “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” was good, but I was hesitant to believe them. I had no intention of ever watching it until I got tired of “Pokemon” (just kidding–I could never get tired of “Pokemon”) and played the first episode.
And I could not. I couldn’t even.
Why do I love this show?
If you’re skeptical of all the Marvel hype, give “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” a chance. It has all the ships your little heart could desire, plus some character development and complexity and other stuff that I guess is important to a good story. If you’re not busy, go watch it RIGHT NOW.
Warning: So many spoilers. If you’d like a summary, scroll to the bottom of the review.
Hey, Shadow and Bone. C’mere. I wanna talk to you.
Sit down, Shadow and Bone. How have you been? I’ve been hearing really great things about you.
You know, I really liked you at first. I mean, really liked you. Your first 90 or so pages had some of the tightest writing I’ve read in a while. I just tried to read A Court of Thorns and Roses and had to put it down after 50 uninspiring pages. With you, I was hooked immediately. You established a world populated by Grisha, this universe’s version of benders. You introduced me to your main character, Alina Starkov, tricked me into caring about her by giving her a shady past and an unrequited crush on her best friend, and didn’t skimp on action. You told me everything I needed to know in a manner of pages: the country of Ravka (AKA Fantasy Russia) is at war with its many neighboring countries and travel anywhere in the country is complicated by the existence of the Shadow Fold.
What is the Shadow Fold, you ask? Well, that’s ridiculous, Shadow and Bone, you should know, but I’ll remind you: the Shadow Fold is a region in the middle of the country completely covered by darkness and populated by terrifying monsters called the volcra. Travel across it is dangerous – characters are counted lucky if they die quickly.
Barely 30 pages in, Alina and her friend Mal are attacked on the Shadow Fold. Alina saves Mal by unleashing a hidden power and driving away the volcra. Turns out not only is she a Grisha, she’s a Sun Summoner, the only one of her kind.
Alina is introduced to the Darkling, the leader of the Grisha with “great powers.” All I’m really clear on is he can create darkness and cut men in half. I am clear on how hot he sounded. Thank the internet for fanart.
Shadow and Bone, you had me where you wanted me. You gave me great action, an interesting protagonist, and the promise of hot romance.
So, what I want to ask is this:
I have three big problems with your story.
1. You turned an interesting story into high school politics
I’ve read books before, Shadow and Bone. This is not the first time I’ve read a story where the protagonist learns new skills at a prestigious academy and faces difficulty and social rejection. Heck, there’s a pretty well-known novel about a boy wizard who goes through the same things!
I loved Harry Potter and The Lioness Quartet. I’m not saying you can’t make this the plot of your YA fantasy novel.
My problem is that magic wizard school ISN’T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. You spent 90 pages throwing me scary monsters and quasi-Scandinavian assassins, and you followed that up with Alina’s struggles with homework. FOR 100 PAGES.
2. I was promised “heady” and “poignant” romance and you didn’t deliver
As I mentioned before, the Darkling was pretty hot. He and Alina had some chemistry, which I was interested in seeing develop.
Instead, the Darkling disappears.
When he does speak to Alina, it’s to pass on exposition. Your Exposition Fairy, hard at work. Their relationship didn’t so much develop as…happen. Out of nowhere.
One minute, it’s all exposition about a magical stag that could help them destroy the Shadow Fold. Then this happens:
He looked down at me. The cold air had put a flush in his cheeks, and the lamplight shone in his gray eyes. “Alina, if I tell you that I believe we can find the stag, would you think I’m mad?”
“Why would you care what I think?”
He looked genuinely baffled. “I don’t know,” he said. “But I do.”
And then he kissed me.
Not 20 pages later, he and Alina almost have sex against a wall during a raucous party. WHAT IS HAPPENING? It’s Octavia and Lincoln all over again!
What really peeved me was how you brought Mal back in. For the BULK OF THE NOVEL, Mal sleeps with other women, expects Alina to be his wingwoman, and generally doesn’t care as much about her as she does about him.
I’ve been in this kind of friendship. I know how this feels. There’s no point in hanging on to an uneven relationship. Alina realizes that though she has made Mal a priority her entire life, he doesn’t care about her. I thought her letting go of this friendship was a good step toward character development.
Then you brought Mal back.
Up to this point, you had done nothing to make Mal remotely likeable. To remedy this, you have Mal slutshame Alina for being into the Darkling. Later, while helping her find the stag, he picks fights and is nothing but rude to her the entire time.
SUDDENLY, he’s declaring his love for her. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina,” he says. “But I see you now.”
BOOOOO! BOOOOOO! BOOOOO! After “graciously” forgiving Alina for considering sleeping with the Darkling ONE TIME, Mal says, “We found our way back to each other, Alina. That’s all that matters.”
NOT TRUE! Call me crazy, but I think sleeping with every other girl ever and being a terrible friend still matters!
3. You didn’t foreshadow your big twist
Come on, Shadow and Bone. I JUST POSTED about obvious foreshadowing yesterday. You went to the opposite extreme with no foreshadowing at all.
As I said yesterday, when I come to a twist ending, I want to be surprised, but I also want to feel like I should have seen it coming. When I reread a story or rewatch a movie, I want to see all the little clues I missed that lead up to the big reveal.
There were no such clues with you, Shadow and Bone.
Page 236, the wise old mentor reveals that the Darkling…is eeeeeviiiiil!
And Alina feels so foolish, because she should have known!
Because he killed a guy by cutting him in half? He’s an immortal being with intense power. That guy was trying to kill his Sun Summoner. Still on the Darkling’s side.
Because he can create darkness?
Because he wears black on the time? Seriously, where were your clues, Shadow and Bone?
You gave me no reason to hate the supposed villain! It’s not a good twist if it came out of nowhere!
I wanted to love you, Shadow and Bone. I gushed about you to my little brother, telling him “this is how you write a fantasy novel.”
Shadow and Bone, you made me look like a fool.
Want to know my final verdict, Shadow and Bone?
Excellent first 1/3. Disappointing latter half. Don’t read it for the romance. Worth a read…as long as you get it from your local library.
Ahoy! Thar be spoilers here!
We return to my favorite series to examine each of the heroines’ love interests.
I was not a Thorne fan when I started reading. It had something to do with his bravado, self-appointed title of captain, and sensitivity to prison soap. Kai puts it perfectly in Scarlet.
[Thorne’s] prison photo showed him flippantly winking at the camera. Kai hated him immediately.
Thorne grew on me, though. He has a roguish charm and enough street smarts and survival skills to last a few days in the Sahara. He’s funny, too, finding time for sarcastic repartee during battle.
Much as I love Kai, I ship Cinder and Thorne because while he drives her crazy, he always has her back. It’s hard to find guys willing to unfasten your control panel and reboot your system these days. No, that isn’t a euphemism.
Thorne provides a good bit of comic relief as the series gets more intense. Still, his more cinematic moments make me roll my eyes, and his relationship with Cress is one of the series’ weaker aspects. I’ll take my men with more savvy and less swagger, thank you.
You don’t woo women by being sassy (*ahem* Thorne). You listen to them, buy them thoughtful presents, and invite them to balls. In these ways, Kai has the jump on his fellow love interests. Kai is young, angsty, inexperienced, and honestly kind of dumb, but he tries. Out of all the girls vying for his attention, he pursues Cinder. He’s not put off by her manly hobbies, her sarcasm, her alleged lack of femininity, or her status. He finds out she’s both Lunar and a cyborg and is only upset she didn’t tell him sooner.
Plus, he keeps the cyborg foot Cinder leaves behind at the ball. That’s precious.
Cinder kidnaps him on his wedding day and it is perfect. They are perfect. I lied about shipping Cinder and Thorne; Kai and Cinder are wonderful.
Wolf (AKA Ze’ev Kesley)
Freaking Wolf. He’s basically Kai, minus the sassiness and quintuple the angst. Throw in some murder, tattoos, animal instincts, intriguing scars, and physical perfection.
I’m a sucker for antiheroes and characters who strive to be better. Wolf does messed-up stuff, but he wants to change.
All that I love about Wolf is evident in the way he treats Scarlet. I love how he goes out of his way to protect her. It’s sweet…and kind of really hot. Of all the ships in the series, the Scarlet/Wolf romance made me swoon the most (so far). Palpable sexual tension, much more so than witty banter, is my favorite thing.
My favorite part in Scarlet is when Wolf nearly drops Scarlet off a train and freaks out, thinking he might have hurt her. All Scarlet wants is a hug, and this is the moment he finally allows himself to give her one. When I read that part, I cheered through my tears (I get really emotional about Lunar Chronicles, okay?)
Wolf gets a little annoying in Cress when he’s rendered nearly catatonic after Scarlet is kidnapped. Even so, I like how Meyer addresses it. I know how wrecked I would be if my significant other was in danger and I couldn’t help them–that’s some traumatic stuff. Wolf consoles himself by sleeping in Scarlet’s bed because it smells like her–ADORABLE. Even while mired in anguish, Wolf helps his friends when they need him.
And, even though it’s just a bunch of numbers, Wolf has a tattoo. Win.
Oh, Jacin Clay.
Jacin’s big problem is he’s mean. Really mean. And snarky. He’s angsty and bitter and does questionable things in order to survive. Marissa Meyer made a comment about readers not liking him. Despite everything I just mentioned, I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t. I mean, come on:
Part of it might be the forbidden love angle (I have a thing about bodyguards who crush on their charges.) Though he claims not to be, Jacin is SUPER into Princess Winter. Rereading Cress with this in mind made for much squealing.
Also, how can you not love this quote?
“I serve my princess. No one else.”
This is why I can’t read Lunar Chronicles in public.
Yes. YES. I found the greatest TV show of all time.
It has everything:
” The Musketeers” is all I’ve ever wanted in television.
I’m only one episode in, but I’m optimistic.